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TPO 34, Q4Explain how the experiment described by the professor illustrates the familiarity principle. v.1

TPO 34, Q4Explain how the experiment described by the professor illustrates the familiarity principle. v. 1
The past hundred of years, books is considered to be the ultimate source of knowledge. In recent times, it has been observed that children are favouring other sources of leisure than reading books. This essay will shed some light on the reasons for this behaviour, ranging from the significant involvement in video games and online media, like movies and television series. Also, provide some solutions to motivate them on reading books by parents. Observing the technological advancement, video games and computers with internet, have reduced its cost significantly. Due to this, it is available to a large public. Young generation prefer to spend their free time after school with playing video games or watching movies on platforms like Netflix. Because of these substitutes, the habit of reading has perished. My neighbour's son usually suggests me to watch certain movies or exchange Video game disks, however, I have never noticed him talking about books. Due to these factors, it is believed that books are not the priority for children for fun. However, the habits of games and movies presented above could be altered. Parents should introduce their children to books similar to the movies they cherish. Children like to be awarded for task achievements in the form of presents. Parents should ask them to read and summarize stories and intern provide them with things they cherish. This would in start motivate them and slowly introduce the habit of reading in their leisure time. To conclude, access of video games and online media entertainment has left no time for children to read books for fun, however, associating books with movies or characters from their cartoon, luring them to read in return for presents. Parents at home can encourage them by the proposed solutions to start the habit of reading.
The past hundred of years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
is considered
to be the ultimate source of knowledge. In recent times, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
other sources of leisure than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. This essay will shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the reasons for this
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
, ranging from the significant involvement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and online media, like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and television series.
Also
, provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions to motivate them on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
by parents.

Observing the technological advancement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and computers with internet, have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
its cost
significantly
. Due to this, it is available to a large public. Young generation prefer to spend their free time after school with playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
on platforms like Netflix.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of these substitutes, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
has perished. My
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
's son
usually
suggests me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
exchange


Video game disks,
however
, I have never noticed him talking about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
. Due to these factors, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
are not the priority for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for fun.

However
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
presented above could
be altered
. Parents should introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
similar to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
they cherish.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
like to
be awarded
for task achievements in the form of presents. Parents should ask them to read and summarize stories and intern provide them with things they cherish. This would in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
motivate them and
slowly
introduce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in their leisure time.

To conclude
, access of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and online media entertainment has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
no time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
for fun,
however
, associating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or characters from their cartoon, luring them to read in return for presents. Parents at home can encourage them by the proposed solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay TPO 34, Q4Explain how the experiment described by the professor illustrates the familiarity principle. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
297 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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