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TPO 33 - Question 6Using the professor's example of the pizza restaurant, explain two advantages of franchising. v.1

TPO 33 - Question 6Using the professor's example of the pizza restaurant, explain two advantages of franchising. v. 1
Scientific research plays vital role in the progress of the nation. These objectives are totally arguable by anyone that scientific research should be helmed by national authority rather than commercial organisations. Hence, In next paragraphs I will elude my viewpoints to form an opinion. To begin with, There are numerous reasons to support the government sector. Firstly, Any research needs enormous capital and the resources. In different sector the government funded for research's such as pharmaceutical, Space sector also in the defence sector. National authority has the purity and the collectable resources to explore new ideas through scientific research. For example, The defence sector research has only occurred by the government because they do not disclose any information. If the research does not achieve its objectives, they are capable of sustaining the losses. A Nuclear weapons tests are very essentials for the country. However, The governments have the capability for its security. Government has the liability to secure the research. On the flip side, private sectors have their own advantages in the research. A commercial organisations take a lump sum of money and takes longer time for the expected results. They do not achieve objectives also. For example, if anyone bribe them, they disclose the data to others. Commercial sectors do tests for their own benefits and their conclusion of the tests are not believable. In conclusion, after analysing various aspects of the argument, A government funding is in the interests of the public. In my view, National authority is safe hands for any kind of exploration.
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
plays vital role in the progress of the nation. These objectives are
totally
arguable by anyone that scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
should
be helmed
by national authority
rather
than commercial
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
Hence
, In
next
paragraphs I will elude my viewpoints to form an opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, There are numerous reasons to support the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
.
Firstly
, Any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
needs enormous capital and the resources. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funded for research's such as pharmaceutical, Space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
also
in the
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
. National authority has the purity and the collectable resources to explore new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
through scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
.
For example
, The
Possible spelling mistake. 'defence' is British English.
defence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
occurred by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not disclose any information. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
does not achieve its objectives, they are capable of sustaining the losses. A Nuclear weapons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
essentials for the country.
However
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have the capability for its security.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
has the liability to secure the research.

On the flip side, private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. A commercial
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "organisation"?
organisations
take a lump sum of money and takes longer time for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
results. They do not achieve objectives
also
.
For example
, if anyone
The pronoun 'anyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "bribes", "bribed".
bribe
them, they disclose the data to others. Commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and their conclusion of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
are not believable.

In conclusion
, after
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysing' is British English.
analysing
various aspects of the argument, A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funding is in the interests of the public. In my view, National authority is safe hands for any kind of exploration.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 33 - Question 6Using the professor's example of the pizza restaurant, explain two advantages of franchising. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
257 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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