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Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and cannot afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v.2

Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and cannot afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 2
Nowadays, a substantial proportion of people are buying unnecessary items even though they cannot sustain the costs which lead to being burdened with debt. Hence, questions are raised about the rational justification behind this demeanor and the approaches to tackle this issue. This essay will examine the reasons and propose measures to solve it. To begin with, the primary cause seems to stem from the advertising. To enumerate, the use of commercial advertising could entice consumers to purchase superfluous products which are unaffordable, so that they become overwhelmed with debt. For example, renowned celebrities have been being used in advertisements in order to tempt a wide range of fans to imitate their endearing stars by buying the commodity in the commercial. As a result, not only does this attitude conduces to rising the profligate spending habit, but it also contributes to incurring heavy debts. Nonetheless, the key to inhibiting the growth of this trend deems to lie in conducting awareness campaigns. This might assist purchasers to perceive the negative repercussion of buying needless items at exorbitance prices. Therefore, they are more likely to ponder over buying within their budget, thereby reducing buying impetuously, and the brunt of debt could be avoided. Thus, if individuals are encouraged to spend money wisely, the adverse implication of buying worthless objects will most probably be ameliorated. In conclusion, the predominant factor resulting in debt from purchasing redundant staff which cannot be afforded is the advertisements, but by virtue of organizing outreach programs, this issue could be addressed.
Nowadays, a substantial proportion of
people
are
buying
unnecessary items
even though
they cannot sustain the costs which lead to
being burdened
with
debt
.
Hence
, questions
are raised
about the rational justification behind this demeanor and the approaches to tackle this issue. This essay will examine the reasons and propose measures to solve it.

To
begin
with, the primary cause seems to stem from the advertising. To enumerate, the
use
of commercial advertising could entice consumers to
purchase
superfluous products which are unaffordable,
so
that they become overwhelmed with
debt
.
For example
, renowned celebrities have been being
used
in advertisements in order to tempt a wide range of fans to imitate their endearing stars by
buying
the commodity in the commercial.
As a result
, not
only
does this attitude
conduces
to rising the profligate spending habit,
but
it
also
contributes to incurring heavy debts.

Nonetheless, the key to inhibiting the growth of this trend deems to lie in conducting awareness campaigns. This might assist purchasers to perceive the
negative
repercussion of
buying
needless items at exorbitance prices.
Therefore
, they are more likely to ponder over
buying
within their budget, thereby reducing
buying
impetuously
, and the brunt of
debt
could
be avoided
.
Thus
, if individuals
are encouraged
to spend money
wisely
, the adverse implication of
buying
worthless objects will most
probably
be ameliorated
.

In conclusion
, the predominant factor resulting in
debt
from purchasing redundant staff which cannot
be afforded
is the advertisements,
but
by virtue of organizing outreach programs, this issue could
be addressed
.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people get into debt by buying things they do not need and cannot afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What actions can be taken to prevent people from having this problem? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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