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Tpo 29, to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v.2

Tpo 29, to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2
It has long been a hot controversy among contemporary scientists that of the two options of raising the salaries of professors or spending money on other important issues which one is more preferable. As far as I am concerned, answering to this question is imperative, as it deals with the finest way to improve the quality of education. I would not agree that spending more money on earnings for university professors would improve the quality of education dramatically as universities have a limited budget they have to choose the most efficient way to spend. Obviously, there are better ways to do that. First of all, having up to date laboratories in so many fields such as physic and chemistry is the optimum way to improve the quality of education. A prime example from my own experience may shed some light on this point, I remember, when I was studying my bachelor degree in electrical engineering, we did not have a perfect tool to measure the Voltage accurately in circuits which was very disappointing for students. While so many teachers had luxury cars such as BMW. We did even send an email to the dean of the department but he spontaneously replied we do know that buying a tool for you is necessary, but we do not have the extra budget. Another pivotal reason would be the unwanted competition between the universities for hiring good professors. The reason for a whole host of students who are dreaming to follow teaching as their career is sacred. Spending more money on salaries of professors would deviate from the paramount goal of teaching to eager young minds. For instance, perfect professors would leave lower budget universities seeking for more money. Personally, I know some professors in my last university who refused to get more money, surprisingly because they think that the extra money would hinder them from their academic research. The last, but not the least, the more we spend on salaries on professors of university, the more we would ignore the possible undiscovered technologies to improve the quality of teaching. According to a research which was conducted by one of the most reputable universities in my country, the E-learning is the possible way of teaching in the near future. The only way that we can invest on this and be a pioneer on Internet learning is by spending more and more money on this. To conclude, considering the above reasons, notwithstanding with all snags of spending on other parts of education, we can simply realize that spending money on incomes of professors can serve as a catalyst for an everlasting, detriment and unexpected race among universities.
It has long been a hot controversy among contemporary scientists that of the two options of raising the salaries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues which one is more preferable. As far as I
am concerned
, answering to this question is imperative, as it deals with the finest way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on earnings for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
dramatically
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have a limited budget they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
choose the most efficient way to spend.
Obviously
, there are better ways to do that.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, having up to date laboratories in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields such as physic and chemistry is the optimum way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. A prime example from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience may shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on this point, I remember, when I was studying my bachelor degree in electrical engineering, we did not have a perfect tool to measure the Voltage
accurately
in circuits which was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
disappointing for students. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
teachers had luxury cars such as BMW. We did even
Consider using "email".
send an email to
the dean of the department
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he
spontaneously
replied we do know that buying a tool for you is necessary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we do not have the extra budget.

Another pivotal reason would be the unwanted competition between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for hiring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
. The reason for a whole host of students who are dreaming to follow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
as their career
is sacred
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on salaries of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
would deviate from the paramount goal of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
to eager young minds.
For instance
, perfect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
lower budget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
seeking for more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Personally
, I know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
in my last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
who refused to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
,
surprisingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would hinder them from their academic research.

The last,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, the more we spend on salaries on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, the more we would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the possible undiscovered technologies to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
. According to a research which
was conducted
by one of the most reputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in my country, the E-learning is the possible way of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
in the near future. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way that we can invest on this and be a pioneer on Internet learning is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on this.

To conclude
, considering the above reasons, notwithstanding with all snags of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on other parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, we can
simply
realize that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on incomes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
can serve as a catalyst for an everlasting, detriment and unexpected race among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
46Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Tpo 29, to improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
443 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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