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TPO 26Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job. Use specific reasons and examples to suppo v.2

TPO 26 It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job. Use specific reasons and examples to suppo v. 2
It goes without saying that since the dawn of civilization, the job has played a prevailing role in every individual' s life. The most controversial part of this issue is jobs for new employees. The inevitable question which has invariably engendered heat debated among academicians is whether it is better for children to choose jobs similar to their parents' job or they opt so different from their parent' s job. Therefore, a plethora of people are the leading components of the claim that childrens must have different job from their fathers. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believe that it is so logic that children chose jobs that are similar to fathers' work. I am, nonetheless to first convention, inclined toward the opinion that kids should choose the job that is similar to the parents' duty. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs will aptly elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that it is very significant that a person chose a job which he is familiar with it. Parent have abundant experience in their job and white their hairs in this way. (They have a lot of experience. ) On the other hands, children are amatour in their field of works; may be they attain some information especially theoretical data in their major. Had they chose jobs which are similar to their parents' , new employees work better in their field because of parents' experience. For a personal experience as an example, my parents especially my father help me a lot in choosing the major and jobs. He is a professor in University of Isfahan, and has a lot of experience in teaching. He said me tactics of teaching, increasing the patient during the work, etc. , so that I learn a lot of approaches for teaching; although, I am only 21 years old. Furthermore, it is established beyond doubt that successfulness in these children is higher than others. They can readily get the sense of satisfication through attaining more money because they learn the way of making money via their parents. The noteworthy statistic, revealed by a recent social research conducted in two persons, shows that the one who has a job that is similar to his father' s job is happier and is more satisfied in his life than the other one who has a different job from his parents' job. So the latter person not only doesn' t have adequate money for daily life but also can' t create the sense of happiness for his family. To recapitulate, all the enumerated reasons converge to the point that it is a good advise that children opt works that are similar to their parents' jobs. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. Finally, it is suggested that a survey is conducted to find out whether people have experienced valuable by choosing a fathers' job or not.
It goes without saying that since the dawn of civilization, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has played a prevailing role in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s life. The most controversial part of this issue is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for new employees. The inevitable question which has
invariably
engendered heat debated among academicians is whether it is better for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
job or
they opt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parent&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Therefore
, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are the leading components of the claim that
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fathers
. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believe that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
logic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fathers&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I am, nonetheless to
first
convention, inclined toward the opinion that kids should choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039; duty. To substantiate my point of view, the following paragraphs will
aptly
elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant that a person chose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which he is familiar with it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parent
have abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and white their hairs in this way. (They have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Loose punctuation mark.
)
On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hands,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
amatour
in their field of works;
Did you mean "maybe" (= perhaps)?
may be
they attain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information
especially
theoretical data in their major. Had they
Possible agreement error – use past participle here: "chosen".
chose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
new employees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better in their field
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. For a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
as an example, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
especially
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
in choosing the major and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. He is a professor in University of Isfahan, and has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
in teaching. He
'Say' cannot be followed by a direct personal object. Did you mean "told"?
said
me tactics of teaching, increasing the patient during the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, etc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I learn a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of approaches for teaching; although, I am
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
.

Furthermore
, it
is established
beyond doubt that successfulness in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is higher than others. They can
readily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the sense of
Possible spelling mistake found.
satisfication
through attaining more money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they learn the way of making money via their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. The noteworthy statistic, revealed by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "recent social research".
a recent social research
conducted in two persons,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the one who has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to his
Possible spelling mistake found.
father&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is happier and is more satisfied in his life than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one who has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from his
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the latter person not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t have adequate money for daily life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t create the sense of happiness for his family.

To recapitulate, all the enumerated reasons converge to the point that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
advise that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
opt works that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
similar
to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
parents&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
However
, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above.
Finally
, it
is suggested
that a survey
is conducted
to find out whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have experienced valuable by choosing a
Possible spelling mistake found.
fathers&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
59Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 26 It is better for children to choose jobs that are similar to their parents’ jobs than to choose jobs that are very different from their parents’ job. Use specific reasons and examples to suppo v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
507 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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