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TPO 26 q2It is better for the children to choose the jobs similar to their parent's job rather that the jobs which are vary drastically with their parent's jobs. v.1

TPO 26 q2It is better for the children to choose the jobs similar to their parent's job rather that the jobs which are vary drastically with their parent's jobs. v. 1
Across the globe, Our education system has evolved. Teenagers go to school to gain knowledge on a variety of subjects. This idea is controversial and people opine differently. Some people say that students should have the freedom to study the subjects of their choice, whereas others say that equal attention to all the subjects is beneficial. In my opinion, teenagers should learn all the subjects and gain knowledge about each and every discipline in their curriculum. On the first hand, high school curriculum is tailored to teach important subjects such as mathematics, science, English, history, and geography. These act as a foundation for future career. They designed to provide knowledge and allow the students to select the subjects that they might wish to take up for higher studies and career. Moreover, teenagers are not capable enough to make the best decision pertaining to one particular subject that they would want to study in the future. On the other hand, if a student wishes to be selective, it might be beneficial as well. This would let him ensure undivided focus on his choice of subjects and help him build a sound foundation during the formative years. This would provide students with more time and resources to spend on comparatively lesser and more interesting subjects, leading to better results. According to me, the option of studying all the subjects enables the students to keep their options open and possibly widen their range of interests. To conclude, I would say that it is best for them to study all the subjects.
Across the globe, Our education system has evolved.
Teenagers
go to school to gain knowledge on a variety of
subjects
. This
idea
is controversial and
people
opine
differently
.
Some
people
say that
students
should have the freedom to
study
the
subjects
of their choice, whereas others say that equal attention to all the
subjects
is beneficial. In my opinion,
teenagers
should learn all the
subjects
and gain knowledge about each and every discipline in their curriculum.

On the
first
hand, high school curriculum
is tailored
to teach
important
subjects
such as mathematics, science, English, history, and geography. These act as a foundation for future career. They designed to provide knowledge and
allow
the
students
to select the
subjects
that they might wish to take up for higher
studies
and career.
Moreover
,
teenagers
are not capable
enough
to
make
the best decision pertaining to one particular
subject
that they would want to
study
in the future.

On the other hand
, if a
student
wishes to be selective, it might be beneficial
as well
. This would
let
him ensure undivided focus on his choice of
subjects
and
help
him build a sound foundation during the formative years. This would provide
students
with more time and resources to spend on
comparatively
lesser and more interesting
subjects
, leading to better results.

According to me
, the option of studying all the
subjects
enables the
students
to
keep
their options open and
possibly
widen their range of interests.
To conclude
, I would say that it is best for them to
study
all the
subjects
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 26 q2It is better for the children to choose the jobs similar to their parent's job rather that the jobs which are vary drastically with their parent's jobs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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