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TPO 18 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The students are more influenced by the teachers than by their friends. v.2

TPO 18 – task 2: The students are more influenced by the teachers than by their friends. v. 2
Friends and teachers are two vital members of our social life. As students, we spend almost twenty years of our life contacting with teachers and friends at school or universities. Some people agree that students are more influence by their teachers than by their friends; however, some others disagree. In my point of view, I support the statement for two significant reasons. To begin with, the teachers are more experienced than the friends are; hence, the can have a more influence on the students. My friends are almost at the same age as me and they have conducted a same career up to this point in life. In contrast, the teachers have seen the up and downs of life and have overcome countless obstacles to reach their current status. Therefore, they can have a stronger effect on the students and the students can trust their advices. Beside the above-mentioned reason, the teachers have knowledge that is more practical. A vivid example can be give to shed light on what was alluded to above. Dr. Dabir is my favorite teacher who had the most important effect on my life. In our advanced mathematics class, he used to speak about his experiences during his life as a gradate student at the University of Michigan. Several years ago, since there was no advanced and high-tech computers like current ones, the students have to wait for weeks in order to run a computer code; and unfortunately, there was only one huge, slow computer available at the university in that time. Considering our current facilities at universities such as super-computers, tablets, cell phones, and high-speed internet, he regrets that why students now are so lazy. He used to encourage me to take advantage of these facilities to do a perfect research; otherwise, other students will do. Finally, in contrast to our friends at school, the teachers are not only honest to us, but also are willing to assist us to become successful persons like themselves. Due to intensive competition between students, even friends, sometimes, betray each other. For example, in the last semester, one of my friends, Fardin, and I decided to study together for our Chemistry final exam. He had two question samples of final exams, but he did not tell me anything about them, because he wanted to study them alone in order to get a higher score in the exam. In summary, I think the teachers have a greater influence on the students. All in all, although some sophisticated individuals might prove that friends are more influential to students, I reiterate that teachers, based on the arguments in the body paragraphs, affect the students more than friends do.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Friends
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are two vital members of our social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, we spend almost twenty years of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
contacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at school or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more influence by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
than by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others disagree. In my point of view, I support the statement for two significant reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are more experienced than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are;
hence
, the can have a more influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are almost at the same age as
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
me and
they have conducted a same career up to this point in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
the up and downs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and have overcome countless obstacles to reach their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
status.
Therefore
, they can have a stronger effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can trust their advices.

Beside the above-mentioned reason, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have knowledge
that is
more practical. A vivid example can be give to shed light on what
was alluded
to above. Dr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dabir
is my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
who had the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
effect on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In our advanced mathematics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to speak about his experiences during his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as
After 'a', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'gradate' is correct. If 'gradate' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
a gradate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
of Michigan. Several years ago, since there was no advanced and high-tech computers like
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
ones, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wait for weeks in order to run a computer code; and unfortunately, there was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one huge, slow computer available at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
in that time. Considering our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
facilities at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
such as super-computers, tablets, cell phones, and high-speed internet, he regrets that why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lazy. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to encourage me to take advantage of these facilities to do a perfect research;
otherwise
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will do.

Finally
,
in contrast
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
at school, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
honest to us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
are willing to assist us to become successful persons like themselves. Due to intensive competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
, betray each other.
For example
, in the last semester, one of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Fardin
, and I decided to study together for our Chemistry final exam. He had two question samples of final exams,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
he did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
me anything about them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he wanted to study them alone in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a higher score in the exam. In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have a greater influence on the students.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated individuals might prove that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are more influential to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I reiterate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, based on the arguments in the body paragraphs, affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
do.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay TPO 18 – task 2: The students are more influenced by the teachers than by their friends. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
446 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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