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Tpo 18 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends v.2

Tpo 18 Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends v. 2
Students always look for their role models in their lives. It is thought by some people that students look at their friends for inspiration rather than their teachers. However, this essay will discuss why in fact, students see their teachers as role models in their lives. Contrary to the belief that friends have more influence in students lives, evidence has shown that students are inclined to see their teachers as people who they can look up to. For example, a survey held by the university of Toronto showed that 87 percent of students had their teachers as a role model. It is clear that student are more likely to consider their professors the most trusted and influential people in their lifetime. Another reason that professors are more influential to their students is because teachers are very well-rounded and have a broad knowledge, which makes students more drown after their qualities and kindness. Even though not all teachers are good examples of representing those qualities, overall, the profession itself has the power to identify the best qualities of an educated person. To be more specific, when I was in high school, my role model was my math teacher. She was an intelligent person and loved her profession of teaching other people to become the best version of themselves. She saw all her students equally, which made us to not judge each other in the class. We were astonished by her way of teaching because she was very well -prepared and shared that knowledge with all of us. When students are surrounded by these kinds of people, they would really become inspired by them. I was inspired by my teacher and I was grateful for that. After all, I considered myself a lucky person. Therefore, I really believe that teachers who have a broad horizon could become the most influential people in students lives.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
always look for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
look at their friends for inspiration
rather
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
.
However
, this essay will discuss why in fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
models
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Contrary to the belief that friends have more influence in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, evidence has shown that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are inclined
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who they can look up to.
For example
, a survey held by the university of Toronto
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 87 percent of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
are more likely to consider their professors the most trusted and influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their lifetime.

Another reason that professors are more influential to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well-rounded and have a broad knowledge, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
more drown after their qualities and kindness.
Even though
not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
examples of representing those qualities,
overall
, the profession itself has the power to identify the best qualities of an educated person. To be more specific, when I was in high school, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
role
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
model
was my math
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. She was an intelligent person and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
her profession of teaching other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become the best version of themselves. She
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
all her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
equally
, which made us to not judge each other in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. We
were astonished
by her way of teaching
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
she was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well -prepared and shared that knowledge with all of us. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are surrounded
by these kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they would
really
become inspired by them. I
was inspired
by my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
teacher and
I was grateful for that.
After all
, I considered myself a lucky person.
Therefore
, I
really
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
who have a broad horizon could become the most influential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Tpo 18 Students are more influenced by their teachers than by their friends v. 2

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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