Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 15 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain how the position of birds' eyes is critical to their survival. v.1

TPO 15 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain how the position of birds' eyes is critical to their survival. v. 1
In a country like India, Film stars are treated as demigods, musicians as idols and finally Sports persons as youth icons. Moreover, these stars and endorsed to be seen so by advertising agencies as associated with them. Having stated that there is a common question associated with these celebrities, Are they paid too much money? As glamorous as they may appear, these superstars would have crossed various obstacles to have reached the pinnacle in their respective careers. To master an instrument like a flute or to perfect a cover drive in cricket it takes rigorous and disciplined regime. Furthermore, to be consistent in their performance, the effort needed is no less. Contrary to popular belief, to be an entertainer is not a luxury as such. While the limelight on them is enjoyable, it also puts them in the public's eye. The life of Tamil superstar, Rajinikanth, a conductor who has converted all the hurdles in his path into a ladder to climb the heights of success, can serve as a perfect illustration of the persistent hard work put by these entertainers. On that note, I disagree with the popular notion that the eminent entertainers are paid too much money as they have not only conquered our hearts but also inspire us to be better. In comparison, One other profession which has to be highly paid is Defence Services. They serve as the wall protecting us, yet they are hardly appreciated. Although, servicemen would not demand it, they deserve to be paid well and celebrated better. After all, aren't we all sleeping well with the confidence they have bestowed on our safety?
In a country like India, Film stars
are treated
as demigods, musicians as idols and
finally
Sports persons as youth icons.
Moreover
, these stars and endorsed to be
seen
so
by advertising agencies as associated with them. Having stated that there is a common question associated with these celebrities, Are they
paid
too much money?

As glamorous as they may appear, these superstars would have crossed various obstacles to have reached the pinnacle in their respective careers. To master an instrument like a flute or to perfect a cover drive in cricket it takes rigorous and disciplined regime.
Furthermore
, to be consistent in their performance, the effort needed is no less. Contrary to popular belief, to be an entertainer is not a luxury as such. While the limelight on them is enjoyable, it
also
puts them in the public's eye.

The life of Tamil superstar,
Rajinikanth
, a conductor who has converted all the hurdles in his path into a ladder to climb the heights of success, can serve as a perfect illustration of the persistent
hard
work put by these entertainers.

On that note, I disagree with the popular notion that the eminent entertainers are
paid
too much money as they have not
only
conquered our hearts
but
also
inspire us to be better.

In comparison
, One other profession which
has to
be
highly
paid
is
Defence
Services. They serve as the wall protecting us,
yet
they are hardly appreciated. Although, servicemen would not demand it, they deserve to be
paid
well and celebrated better.
After all
, aren't we all sleeping well with the confidence they have bestowed on our safety?
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 15 - Question 6Using the examples from the lecture, explain how the position of birds' eyes is critical to their survival. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
271 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts