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2. Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believes that people need to live simple lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and g v.2

2. Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believes that people need to live simple lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. 2
Nowadays, some people think that there are various benefits of technology when people use it to solve environmental issues. In contract, someone believes that people should be live without technology and live easy lives to solve environmental issues. I totally agree with those who think technological solutions can be found for environmental problems. On the one hand, enjoying life without sophisticated technology means that people inflict less damage on ecosystems on which all living things depend. Firstly, people use vehicles to traffics which consume so much fossil fuel such as diesel or gasoline. It impacts a huge on environment because that is nonrenewable sources and it needs millions of years to renew. Moreover, if people decline their energy consumption, this will decrease the emission of greenhouse gas however it means that people will have a less easy life. Secondly, when people produce products in industry, they must be having waste water treatment system to handling water. It is optimal way to protected environment. On the other hand, I completely agree that people believe that technology is the way to solve environmental issues. Firstly, using renewable sources plays a pivotal role on protected environment. This raise the prospect of decreasing dependence on fossil fuels, cleaner air and the reversal of the trend of global warming. Countries such as Japan are leading the way, for example, in developing more eco-friendly cars, buses and lorries. Another reason is that cleaner technologies, such as waste treatment, are being introduced into many industries, and technology is enabling plastics and other products to be recycled. In conclusion, although living simpler lives can certainly help in tackling environmental problems, it seems to me that advances in technology are already providing many solutions and this trend will gather pace in the future.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are various benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. In contract, someone believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
technological solutions can
be found
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems.

On the one hand, enjoying life without sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
inflict less damage on ecosystems on which all living things depend.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
vehicles to traffics which consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much fossil fuel such as diesel or gasoline. It impacts a huge on environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
that is
nonrenewable sources and it needs millions of years to renew.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
decline their energy consumption, this will decrease the emission of greenhouse gas
however
it means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a less easy life.
Secondly
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
produce products in industry, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be having waste water treatment system to handling water. It is
Please check whether an article is missing: "a optimal".
optimal
way to protected environment.

On the other hand
, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the way to solve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
issues.
Firstly
, using renewable sources plays a pivotal role on protected environment. This raise the prospect of decreasing dependence on fossil fuels, cleaner air and the reversal of the trend of global warming. Countries such as Japan are leading the way,
for example
, in developing more eco-friendly cars, buses and lorries. Another reason is that cleaner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
, such as waste treatment, are
being introduced
into
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industries, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is enabling plastics and other products to
be recycled
.

In conclusion
, although living simpler
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
can
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in tackling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
problems, it seems to me that advances in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are already providing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solutions and this trend will gather pace in the future.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay 2. Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some believes that people need to live simple lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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