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tpo 06life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v.1

tpo 06life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 1
With the advent of the world wide web, everything is available in a click of a button. It has become an age of instant gratification. In my perspective, I agree that with the development of online communication, people will no longer be lonely and will always be able to make new friends. This essay gingerly delineates both the viewpoints in the following paragraphs. The web has brought the world together, connecting people from one corner to the other. Making friends have also become easier, as one need not go out of their comfort zone to speak to the other person. Furthermore, online communication has made it possible for people from varied geographic areas to connect. Nowdays, there are numerous applications which allow people to connect with other like minded people. Moreover, there are applications which also tell you about the people staying in your vicinity, which in turn makes real-time interaction possible. To exemplify my point further, dating applications like Tinder run an algorithm to pick people in and around the radius of 5 kms. On the other hand, the internet can have adverse effects too. Communicating via the internet could lead to privacy violation. In addition to this, children and teenagers could fall prey to peer pressure and cyber-bullying. To substantiate the point above, there are numerous cases where people have been blackmailed due to privacy violations which may lead to stress and unwarranted pressure. In a nutshell, the online communication and the online network have made people more accessible irrespective of the geography and varied time zones. It has allowed us to connect with people from all around the world with a click of a button
With the advent of the
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
world wide web
, everything is available in a click of a button. It has become an age of instant gratification. In my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will no longer be lonely and will always be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends. This essay
gingerly
delineates both the viewpoints in the following paragraphs.

The web has brought the world together, connecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from one corner to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Making friends have
also
become easier, as one need not go out of their comfort zone to speak to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
person.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication has made it possible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from varied geographic areas to connect.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nowdays
, there are numerous applications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
like minded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Moreover
, there are applications which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
staying in your vicinity, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
real-time interaction possible. To exemplify my point
further
, dating applications like Tinder run an algorithm to pick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in and around the radius of 5
Possible spelling mistake found.
kms
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, the internet can have adverse effects too. Communicating via the internet could lead to privacy violation.
In addition
to this, children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
could fall prey to peer pressure and cyber-bullying. To substantiate the point above, there are numerous cases where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been blackmailed
due to privacy violations which may lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and unwarranted pressure.

In a nutshell, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
communication and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
network have made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
more accessible irrespective of the geography and varied time zones. It has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to connect with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from all around the world with a click of a
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
button
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo 06life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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