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TPO 03 - Question 1What characteristics do you think make someone a good parent? Explain why these characteristics are important to you. v.1

TPO 03 - Question 1What characteristics do you think make someone a good parent? Explain why these characteristics are important to you. v. 1
The present working environment has incessantly witnessed a radical change. People tend to switch their job frequently rather than rely on one job. Globalization is the primary causes for these changes and the plausible recommendations to overcome this phenomenon will also be provided. Fundamentally, globalization has caused a revolutionary change in the working environment. As a multitude of organizations and companies use the technology as their main basis to develop, and they expand their presence across the world, the way people work is modernized following the company's culture. Consequently, people are constantly upskilling themselves with the knowledge and ability, so that they can have a better quality. After amplifying themselves with the quality, the possibility of people to change their jobs for better salaries and lifestyle is getting higher. For instance, start-up company has become popular owing to the fact that they can provide a more challenging atmosphere and a competitive salary, but the company requires merit for employing workers. Therefore, when the people meet this requirement, they will tend to move and shift their jobs due to the reason that they need more favourable salaries. To call a halt this nuance, the preferable actions that might be taken are first, people ought to focus and work towards one goal at a time. By that, an individual could maintain his pace of work and life gradually, and therefore, would have a better work life balance. Furthermore, an individual need to deliberate the future impact of job stability, it is more virtuous to excel in one job, rather multiple. This strategy will help to lift up the burden of moving jobs frequently. In conclusion, even though seeking an alternative job to keep maintain with the unavoidably changing work atmosphere is something beneficial, but being a goal oriented person in one job at a time will reward us with a meticulous life. Thus, if the individual can stick to these approaches, it will result to a competitive and stabilized work ambiance.
The present working environment has
incessantly
witnessed a radical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to switch their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
frequently
rather
than rely on one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Globalization is the primary causes for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
and the plausible recommendations to overcome this phenomenon will
also
be provided
.

Fundamentally
, globalization has caused a revolutionary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the working environment. As a multitude of organizations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the technology as their main basis to develop, and they expand their presence across the world, the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is modernized
following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's culture.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
constantly
upskilling themselves with the knowledge and ability,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can have a better quality. After amplifying themselves with the quality, the possibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
for better salaries and lifestyle is getting higher.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-up
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
has become popular owing to the fact that they can provide a more challenging atmosphere and a competitive salary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
requires merit for employing workers.
Therefore
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
this requirement, they will tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and shift their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
due to the reason that they need more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
salaries.

To call a halt this nuance, the preferable actions that might
be taken
are
first
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ought to focus and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
towards one goal at a time. By that, an individual could maintain his pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and life
gradually
, and
therefore
, would have a better
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
work life
balance.
Furthermore
, an individual need to deliberate the future impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
stability, it is more virtuous to excel in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
rather
multiple. This strategy will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
the burden of moving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
frequently
.

In conclusion
,
even though
seeking an alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
maintain with the
unavoidably
changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
atmosphere is something beneficial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
being a goal oriented person in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
at a time will reward us with a meticulous life.
Thus
, if the individual can stick to these approaches, it will result to a competitive and stabilized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ambiance.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A new language is a new life.
Persian Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 03 - Question 1What characteristics do you think make someone a good parent? Explain why these characteristics are important to you. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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