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tourist should pay more than the local visitor for cultural and historical attractions? Do you agree or disagree

tourist should pay more than the local visitor for cultural and historical attractions? RJXP
There has been much debate concerning the different fee paid between international and local tourists to watch cultural and historical events. Some people believe that foreigners should spent their money more to enjoy local performances, while others disagree and think there should be no difference in terms of money spent between overseas and local visitors. This essay disagrees that the expenditure to watch local attractions is charged higher to foreigners for the following reasons. To begin with, it might be claimed that overseas tourists could greatly contribute to the income of local governments and community if they are charged a higher entrance fee to enjoy local attractions compared to local visitors. In addition, many of international tourists come from wealthy countries which have a higher rate currency such as dollars and pound sterling, so they probably think the higher entrance fee is still affordable and they will be willing to pay. However, the aforementioned statements are misleading. This is because research has shown that approximately 55% of foreign tourists over the world have a tight budget for vacation. Furthermore, they have done research and planned their budget carefully with the help of the internet before they arrived on the destination nation. Consequently, if they arrive and find the fact the performance fee is higher, they are more likely to cancel it and prefer to look for the other affordable performances. As a result, there would be a decrease in local governments’ revenue due to their cancellation. In conclusion, I totally disagree if higher fee is applied for international tourists who want to watch local performances because it could decrease the number of foreign visitors who many of them prefer to cancel their plan due to their tight budget. Therefore, consequently it could give the drawback to the decline of earnings of the local government.
There has been much debate concerning the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
paid between international and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
cultural and historical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that foreigners should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "spend"
spent
their money more to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
, while others disagree and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there should be no difference in terms of money spent between overseas and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors. This essay disagrees that the expenditure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
attractions
is charged
higher to foreigners for the following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it might
be claimed
that overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
could
greatly
contribute to the income of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and community if they
are charged
a higher entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
to enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
attractions compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
visitors.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from wealthy countries which have a higher rate currency such as dollars and pound sterling,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the higher entrance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is
still
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
affordable and
they will be willing to pay.

However
, the aforementioned statements are misleading. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
research has shown that approximately 55% of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
over the world have a tight budget for vacation.
Furthermore
, they have done research and planned their budget
carefully
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
The usual proposition after "arrived" is "at" not "on". Did you mean "arrived at"?
arrived on
the destination nation.
Consequently
, if they arrive and find the fact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is higher, they are more likely to cancel it and prefer to look for the other affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
.
As a result
, there would be a decrease in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
’ revenue due to their cancellation.

In conclusion
, I
totally
disagree if higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fee
is applied
for international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
who want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
performances
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it could decrease the number of foreign visitors who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them prefer to cancel their plan due to their tight budget.
Therefore
,
consequently
it could give the drawback to the decline of earnings of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
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IELTS essay tourist should pay more than the local visitor for cultural and historical attractions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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