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some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money.do you agree or disagree. which other type of job should be highly paid

some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. which other type of job should be highly paid exXW
Entertainment field has become more popular today. People who work in this industry such as movie star, musicians and athletes are being high paid. In current time technology science and technology have taken major part for the betterment of society. This sectors are also equally eligible and i think they should receive high payroll. To begin with, There are many reasons why entertainment sector are high paid. First reason is that they have work day and night. These stars sacrifice their personal life and didn't care much of their children. Second reason is that some stars are role model of people. They have a great impact on society and individuals have motivated by this personality. Third reason is that in this sector such as musician, tv stars, sports stars have to work hard for some year and then they become stars. Due to all this reason their pay are justify. On the other hand, Science and technology sectors are also hard working. In today's globalization doctors are working day and night. For example- In covid pandemic scientist and doctor are working 24 hours and it's just beyond our imagination. They have developed vaccine with their significant work. So this sector is also entitled with good amount salaries. In conclusion, with above points it is totally justified that no work is high or law. I am partial disagree with that entertainment field are paid too much money. However every profession has its own value and everyone deserve best. Everybody should be paid equally for their work.
Entertainment field has become more popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in this industry such as movie star, musicians and athletes are being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time technology science and technology have taken major part for the betterment of society.
Did you mean "these"?
This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are
also
equally
eligible and
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they should receive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
payroll.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why entertainment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
.
First
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
day and night. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
sacrifice their personal life and didn't care much of their children. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
are role model of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. They have a great impact on society and individuals have motivated by this personality. Third
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
such as musician,
Possible spelling mistake found.
tv
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
, sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
year and
then they become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stars
. Due to all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
their pay are justify.

On the other hand
, Science and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sectors
are
also
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's globalization doctors are working day and night.
For example
- In
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid
pandemic scientist and doctor are working 24 hours and it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
beyond our imagination. They have developed vaccine with their significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sector
is
also
entitled with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amount salaries.

In conclusion
, with above points it is
totally
justified that no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
high
or law. I am partial disagree with that entertainment field are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
too much money.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
every profession has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
value and everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "deserves", "deserved".
deserve
best. Everybody should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
paid
equally
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay some people feel that entertainers are paid too much money. which other type of job should be highly paid

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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