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tourist has become an important industry

tourist has become an important industry 8glpw
It is true that tourists have many benefits for the host country but in fact by having a number of new people in the country the uniqueness of behavior and custom is influenced. On the one hand, there are several reasons why the tourism industry is popular all around the world. Firstly, It can improve and even create more job opportunities in the country. For example, travelers need accommodation, transportation, and restaurants to respond to their requirements and as a result of that the number of unemployment will diminish and Local people and the government have higher revenue every year. In addition, this behavior is seriously popular all around the world which is called purchasing souvenirs. Due to that many companies can be founded in this purpose to produce something to represent the history of the art of conservational people as a souvenir. consequently again it can improve the country's income. On the other hand, they have a number of disadvantages for the host country too. For example, Their cultural identity may be lost. Since locals try to copy tourist lifestyle such as their dress up or behavior and even their language so. Moreover to provide suitable conditions for travelers they should change some part of their life s habits such as their sleep time or even their vehicle and customs. So in some areas, we face some changes, for example, people do not have sufficient time to celebrate some traditional event with their family because of lots of job and number of customer that they have all along a day and night. For that reason, it may result in the loss of native customs and traditions and in contrast some the international event like valentine become better like because of traveler s culture.
It is true that tourists have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in fact by having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
the uniqueness of behavior and custom
is influenced
.

On the one hand, there are several reasons why the tourism industry is popular all around the world.
Firstly
, It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
and even create more job opportunities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
, travelers need accommodation, transportation, and restaurants to respond to their requirements and
as a result
of that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of unemployment will diminish and Local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
have higher revenue every year.
In addition
, this behavior is
seriously
popular all around the world which
is called
purchasing souvenirs. Due to that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
be founded
in this purpose to produce something to represent the history of the art of
Possible spelling mistake found.
conservational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as a souvenir.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
again it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the country's income.

On the other hand
, they have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of disadvantages for the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
too.
For example
, Their cultural identity may
be lost
. Since locals try to copy tourist lifestyle such as their dress up or behavior and even their language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
to provide suitable conditions for travelers they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of their life s habits such as their sleep time or even their vehicle and customs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, we face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have sufficient time to celebrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
traditional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
with their family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible agreement error. The noun job seems to be countable; consider using: "lots of jobs".
lots of job
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
number
of customer that they have all along a day and night. For that reason, it may result in the loss of native customs and traditions and
in contrast
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
like valentine become better like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of traveler s culture.
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IELTS essay tourist has become an important industry

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
294 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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