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Tourism should be banned in order to protect local environments

Tourism should be banned in order to protect local environments 30OLJ
Tourism should be banned in order to protect local environments. Firstly, transportation is an important factor as it provides tourists with movement facility to their destinations. Nevertheless, the gases from these means of transportations such as cars, trains and planes are likely to result in air pollution, water pollution and even visual pollution. Secondly, disease is spread rapidly as long as tourism happens. For one thing, the outbreak of COVID-19 pandemic occurs worse due to people keeping traveling to various countries. Finally, environmental impact is also dependent on humans' activities, including littering, poisoning the water
Tourism should
be banned
in order to protect local environments.
Firstly
, transportation is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor as it provides tourists with movement facility to their destinations.
Nevertheless
, the gases from these means of transportations such as cars, trains and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
are likely to result in air pollution, water pollution and even visual pollution.
Secondly
, disease
is spread
rapidly
as long as tourism happens. For one thing, the outbreak of COVID-19 pandemic occurs worse due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
keeping traveling to various countries.
Finally
, environmental impact is
also
dependent on humans' activities, including littering, poisoning the water
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IELTS essay Tourism should be banned in order to protect local environments

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
94 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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