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Tourism is now considered as a non-smoke industry in many countries, especially in the developing world. While many people say that tourists can bring a great opportunity to develop the local areas, some think they may cause more damages to the local environment. What are some advantages and disadvantages of tourism development?

Tourism is now considered as a non-smoke industry in many countries, especially in the developing world. While many people say that tourists can bring a great opportunity to develop the local areas, some think they may cause more damages to the local environment. What are some advantages and disadvantages of tourism development? dp2jP
To date, most people are not familiar with tourism. Some people say that travelling stimulates the economy of the country. Yet, others think that travelling causes damage to the environment. To know more clearly about this, let's research the merits and drawbacks of tourism. The two main benefits of the non-smoke industry in tourism are economic development and publicizing the traditions and cultures of an area to the world. First of all, tourism creates job opportunities for local people. For example, people in the locality can choose to do business in various types of tourism, such as: accommodation, transportation, and food. When livelihood issues are warranted, will habitants' lives be improved as well as affluence. Moreover, Tourists often want to experience a new culture. In this way, they will explore and enjoy musical instruments made of bamboo, typical dishes… which is why they travel, as well as that is what makes them very profitable for the community. On the other hand, it still has two disadvantages for the country. Firstly, natural resources are becoming more and more exhausted. For instance, hotels and travel agencies consume a lot of high water and energy usage will put additional pressure and burden on natural resources. Secondly, tourism destroys the beauty of nature beauty. Specifically, tourists draw and write even when damaging objects in national monuments and heritage or throw garbage dump everything in the street, on the sea. . . , which make them degrade, even deform. The awareness of people and tourists in tourism protection is still not high, leading to bad impacts on the environment that greatly affect the beauty of tourist space. In conclusion, tourism is both an advantage and a disadvantage for a country. Thereby, we need to promote strength, besides preventing damage caused by travelling.
To date, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not familiar with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that travelling stimulates the economy of the country.
Yet
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that travelling causes damage to the environment. To know more
clearly
about this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's research the merits and drawbacks of tourism.

The two main benefits of the non-smoke industry in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
are economic development and publicizing the traditions and cultures of an area to the world.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
creates job opportunities for local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the locality can choose to do business in various types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, such as: accommodation, transportation, and food. When livelihood issues
are warranted
, will habitants'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
as well
as affluence.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
want to experience a new culture. In this way, they will explore and enjoy musical instruments made of bamboo, typical dishes… which is why they travel,
as well
as
that is
what
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
profitable for the community.

On the other hand
, it
still
has two disadvantages for the country.
Firstly
, natural resources are becoming more and more exhausted.
For instance
, hotels and travel agencies consume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
high water and energy usage will put additional pressure and burden on natural resources.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroys
the beauty of nature beauty.
Specifically
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
draw and write even when damaging objects in national monuments and heritage or throw garbage dump everything in the street, on the sea.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them degrade, even deform. The awareness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
protection is
still
not high, leading to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on the environment that
greatly
affect the beauty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
space.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is both an advantage and a disadvantage for a country. Thereby, we need to promote strength,
besides
preventing damage caused by travelling.
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IELTS essay Tourism is now considered as a non-smoke industry in many countries, especially in the developing world. While many people say that tourists can bring a great opportunity to develop the local areas, some think they may cause more damages to the local environment. What are some advantages and disadvantages of tourism development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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