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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v.7

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 7
Many countries believe that travellers are blessings from the god, they tend to encourage them. This essay will discuss the two main advantages of tourism, which is increasing in revenue and friendship. This essay will also discuss two main disadvantages such as Cost of maintenance and security. Firstly the concept of tourism is given importance to improve the revenue and also to build a strong bond between other nations. It is believed that this process will establish the nation’s beauty to various people all over the world and also it will indicate that the country is growing. For instance, every country will focus on this. They will have a tourist minister whose duty is to improve the traveller spots and to enhance the financial status. As more people visit it, the relationship and improve profit. On the contrary, there are few drawbacks in the area of security and also maintaining cost is high. The most visited site has to be kept clean and tidy; this will lead to greater levels of labour charges. Secondly, when there are huge crowd there is a thread for security and more protection have to be given for visitors as well as commoners. To illustrate this with an example, during the visit of China president to India, they have tightened the security and made the surroundings neat and clean; this had cost a huge amount. These are some of the disadvantages of having an outsider in our country. To conclude this, having a traveller could always be a good thing; that every nation should appreciate. In this essay we discussed the two main advantages of being a tourist spot like it will improvise the profit and bonding. However, this essay also discussed the drawbacks in terms of maintenance and thread in security
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries believe that
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are blessings from the god, they tend to encourage them. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will discuss the two main advantages of tourism, which is increasing in revenue and friendship. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
will
also
discuss two main disadvantages such as Cost of maintenance and security.

Firstly
the concept of tourism is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
importance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the revenue and
also
to build a strong bond between other nations. It
is believed
that this process will establish the nation’s beauty to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world and
also
it will indicate that the country is growing.
For instance
, every country will focus on this. They will have a tourist minister whose duty is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
spots and to enhance the financial status. As more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit it, the relationship and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
profit.

On the contrary
, there are few drawbacks in the area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and
also
maintaining cost is high. The most visited site
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
clean and tidy; this will lead to greater levels of
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
charges.
Secondly
, when there are huge
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "crowds"?
crowd
there is a thread for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and more protection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
for visitors
as well
as commoners. To illustrate this with an example, during the visit of China president to India, they have tightened the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
and made the surroundings neat and clean; this had cost a huge amount. These are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
disadvantages of having an outsider in our country.

To conclude
this, having a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
could always be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing; that every nation should appreciate. In this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
we discussed the two main advantages of being a tourist spot like it will improvise the profit and bonding.
However
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
essay
also
discussed the drawbacks in terms of maintenance and thread in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
security
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism brings more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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