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tourism is becoming so widespread that the number of tourists visiting old sites causes problems such as overcrowding in leading to the side being damaged and the quality of the experience of the visit being reduced due to large crowds.

tourism is becoming so widespread that the number of tourists visiting old sites causes problems such as overcrowding in leading to the side being damaged and the quality of the experience of the visit being reduced due to large crowds. nRpp2
Tourism become the main type of entertainment show the number of tourist is increasing day by day and recent years it has increased rapidly. Some people say that, excessive number of tourists visiting the old studs will damage the heritage and the quality of tour will reduce. I strongly agree with this view point and in this is the I will give my opinion with examples. Firstly people are keen to discover by themselves due to their curiosity. In old sites, such as museum, there are lots of fragile things, antics our heritages. Weightless crowded tourist it is so tough to give them proper guideline about the sites and also what they should do or they shouldn't do. secondly any kinds of old sites and crowded by the lots of tourists from different countries around the world different to its have individual cultures and languages. But we don't have expert to read guide who can handle all types of people. Thirdly, for crowded people are visitors to its guide has to face technical problem for example if some tourists one to visit more and more then another tourist maybe hungry and they will want to enjoy meals. one solution to decrease the negative effects of large crowds is to limit the number of visitors in one tour for example do not allow children and also have to create rules and do not let the paper touch any kinds of heritages, with this voice I believe that damages in old sites will decrease. All things considered it can be seen that overcrowding of visitors can easily damage the old sides and the quality of the visit reduced. We should all try to make sure that this does not happen in our tourism development and government can take initiative to save the old sites of their country.
Tourism become the main type of entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
is increasing day by day and recent years it has increased
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that, excessive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
visiting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
studs will damage the heritage and the quality of tour will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view point and in this is
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "I"?
the I
will give my opinion with examples.

Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are keen to discover by themselves due to their curiosity. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
, such as museum, there are lots of fragile things, antics our heritages. Weightless crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
tough to give them proper guideline about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and
also
what they should
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
do or
they shouldn't do.
secondly
any kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
and crowded by the lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
to its have individual cultures and languages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
we don't have expert to read guide who can handle all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thirdly
, for crowded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are visitors to its guide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face technical problem
for example
if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
one to visit more and more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
maybe
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
hungry and
they will want to enjoy meals.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
one
solution to decrease the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of large crowds is to limit the number of visitors in one tour
for example
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
children and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
create
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the paper touch any kinds of heritages, with this voice I believe that damages in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
will decrease.

All things considered it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that overcrowding of visitors can
easily
damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
sides and the quality of the visit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
. We should all try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure that this does not happen in our tourism development and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take initiative to save the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sites
of their country.
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IELTS essay tourism is becoming so widespread that the number of tourists visiting old sites causes problems such as overcrowding in leading to the side being damaged and the quality of the experience of the visit being reduced due to large crowds.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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