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Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v.14

Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 14
It is an undeniable fact that tourist spots in every country have become more popular and have so many visitors. The development of tourism has so many benefits, such as more income from tourists and exposure of culture, although the drawbacks of this development cannot be ignored. This essay discusses the drawbacks of tourism for such countries followed by relevant examples. I agree that the disadvantages of the tourism should be handled prudently to lessen its adverse effects on a country. Firstly, tourism activities can threaten the traditional culture of a country. Local people tend to imitate the cultures that are brought by the tourists from their home countries. Based on a cultural research conducted in Indonesia last year, local people stated that their traditional cultures are not suitable to the modern era, whereas the cultures brought by tourists to their country are more suitable and modern. For example, more local people like wearing modern clothes rather than traditional one as well as they follow more modern dances than the traditional one. Secondly, tourism can cause the bad effect to the environment. Take littering cases as an example. It is irrefutable fact that so many tourists ignore the policy about rubbish. Bali as a tourism destination, besides getting awards because of the successful tourism, this city is well-known for the rubbish as well. The government face the difficulty in handling this littering problem because the increasing number of tourists each year. Then, the local people get the effect to their environment, such as land pollution, flood, and air pollution because of the waste. On the other hand, tourism can increase the national government income from tourists' visa and local people get the work-field as well as the chance to learn other cultures. For instance, local people can build home stay area for tourist and gain income from that business. It can reduce the number of unemployment people and grow knowledge of local people about tourists' language. Based on the previous explanation, we can conclude that tourism will be the threat for local cultures and environment, even though it is good for gaining income for government and local people as well as create a chance for local people to have job and knowledge.
It is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
spots in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
have become more popular and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
visitors. The development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits, such as more
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income
from
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tourists
and exposure of
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culture
, although the drawbacks of this development cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. This essay discusses the drawbacks of
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tourism
for such
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countries
followed by relevant examples. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the disadvantages of the
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tourism
should
be handled
prudently
to lessen its adverse effects on a country.

Firstly
,
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tourism
activities can threaten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of a
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country
.
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Local
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people
tend to imitate the
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cultures
that
are brought
by the
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tourists
from their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Based on a cultural research conducted in Indonesia last year,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
stated that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
are not suitable to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
era, whereas the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
brought by
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tourists
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
are more suitable and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
.
For example
, more
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
clothes
rather
than
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traditional
one as
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well
as they follow more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
dances than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
one.

Secondly
,
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tourism
can cause the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effect to the environment. Take littering cases as an example. It is irrefutable fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
the policy about rubbish. Bali as a
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tourism
destination,
besides
getting awards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the successful
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tourism
, this city is well-known for the rubbish as
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well
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
face the difficulty in handling this littering problem
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
each year. Then, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the effect to their environment, such as land pollution, flood, and air pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the waste.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
can increase the national
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
from tourists' visa and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the work-field as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as the chance to learn other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
.
For instance
,
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local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can build home stay area for
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tourist
and gain
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income
from that business. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of unemployment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and grow knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about tourists' language.

Based on the previous explanation, we can conclude that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will be the threat for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and environment,
even though
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as create a chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have job and knowledge.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 14

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
372 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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