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Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted.discuss the statement and give solution for its promotion?

Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted. discuss the statement and give solution for its promotion? jQnE8
Tourism plays a crucial role in every nation. In this modern era, some groups of individuals suggest that it generates income so it should be upgraded. In my, opinion it is beneficial which makes the country progressive. I would like to explicate this essay and discuss some possible repercussions in the upcoming paragraphs. Analysing the statement and explaining further, the first and the foremost reason is that tourism enhances the economy of the country not only but also, develops strong international relations. Moreover, it gives job opportunities to various people which increases the per capita income of the society. Museum provides basic knowledge to tourism which represents our culture. To vindicate museum in New Delhi is the greatest tourist attraction plethora of foreign people visit there to know about the past history. Steps to deal with these problems are many but the most significant ones are not complicated but practical. The solution is that the government should take steps to improve the conditions of historical buildings also, the authority should provide various facilities for the travellers so that they feel comfortable such as better transportation and communication provision. Moving further, it is pertinent to mention that the system of law and order should be strictly implemented and the tourist should feel safe about his or her life. To conclude, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the benefit of tourism is too great to be ignored and it should be the government’s top priority to promote tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
plays a crucial role in every nation. In this modern era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
groups of individuals suggest that it generates income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it should
be upgraded
. In my, opinion it is beneficial which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the country progressive. I would like to explicate this essay and discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
possible repercussions in the upcoming paragraphs.

Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the statement and explaining
further
, the
first
and the foremost reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
enhances the economy of the country not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, develops strong international relations.
Moreover
, it gives job opportunities to various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
which increases the per capita income of the society. Museum provides basic knowledge to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
which represents our culture. To vindicate museum in New Delhi is the greatest tourist attraction plethora of foreign
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit there to know about the past history.

Steps to deal with these problems are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the most significant ones are not complicated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
practical. The solution is that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the conditions of historical buildings
also
, the authority should provide various facilities for the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they feel comfortable such as better transportation and communication provision. Moving
further
, it is pertinent to mention that the system of law and order should be
strictly
implemented and the tourist should feel safe about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
life.

To conclude
, according to the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is too great to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
and it should be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
’s top priority to promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
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IELTS essay Tourism generates revenue therefore it should be promoted. discuss the statement and give solution for its promotion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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