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Tourism and redeveloping countries

Tourism and redeveloping countries LLYEp
Considering high economic income, tourism is the best choose for developing country. This industry can boost economy of a region, make lots of jobs, brings money and put a country in road of development. But tourism has some issues, first of all this industry is so sensible and it can hurt the economy. For example when the coronavirus pandemic stars, tourism has down really badly in whole world. So we all know that covid19 is not the last pandemic, and there will be more. Alongside, tourism needs infrastructure, and Government should pay and invest in it.
Considering high economic income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the best choose for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
. This industry can boost economy of a region,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
lots of jobs, brings money and put a country in road of development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues,
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
first of all
this industry is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
sensible and it can hurt the economy.
For example
when the coronavirus pandemic stars,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has down
really
badly
in whole world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we all know that
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid19
is not the last pandemic, and there will be more. Alongside,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
needs infrastructure, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should pay and invest in it.
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IELTS essay Tourism and redeveloping countries

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
96 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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