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The person who I admire most

The person who I admire most 0wKyQ
As Nicolas Roeg said, "When you admire someone's work, you are amazed by who you think they are". My admirable person is Barack Obama. He was born on 4 August 1961. Barack Hussein Obama II is an American politician, author and retired attorney who served as the 44th president of the United States from 2009 to 2017. He was the first African-American president of the United States. Barack Obama has been a very influential leader and has brought a revolutionary change in America's United States. His life is an inspiration to many as he had encountered several struggles and had succeeded in his life. Being a black person had confronted numerous struggles while fighting many social stigmas and discrimination and generalizations; however, he raised his considering aptitudes and broadened his mind to achieve bigger and better lives. So, he could succeed what he is nowadays and brought do numerous great changes in society. I admire this person the reason why he has brought fundamental changes in the social, political and economic sectors during his presidential tenure in the USA. During his presidency, Obama provided American people with what they had been looking for a great reason to believe in themselves, regardless of class, race, or indeed region. He isn't just the other Washington puppet! He could be a magnanimous pioneer who inspired his people and helped the total nation regain respect from the rest of the world.
As Nicolas Roeg said,
"
When you admire someone's work, you
are amazed
by
who
you
think
they are
"
. My admirable person is Barack Obama. He
was born
on 4 August 1961. Barack Hussein Obama II is an American politician, author and retired attorney who served as the 44th
president of the United States
from 2009 to 2017. He was the
first
African-American
president of the United States
. Barack Obama has been a
very
influential leader and has brought a revolutionary
change
in America's United States. His life is an inspiration to
many
as he had encountered several struggles and had succeeded in his life. Being a black person had confronted numerous struggles while fighting
many
social stigmas and discrimination and generalizations;
however
, he raised his considering aptitudes and broadened his mind to achieve bigger and better
lives
.
So
, he could succeed what he is nowadays and brought do numerous great
changes
in society. I admire this person the reason why he has brought fundamental
changes
in the social, political and economic sectors during his presidential tenure in the USA. During his presidency, Obama provided American
people
with what they had been looking for a great reason to believe in themselves, regardless of
class
, race, or
indeed
region. He isn't
just
the other Washington puppet! He could be a magnanimous pioneer who inspired his
people
and
helped
the total nation regain respect from the rest of the world.
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IELTS essay The person who I admire most

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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