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Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life.

Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life. g5DYL
A few of the view of history events which were related to science will clear my point at logical mind. In 18th century, the Europe countries went strong developing, industry which was up resulted modern weapon coming and potentially advanced economy source. At that time, Vietnamese Feudal dynasty- especially the Nguyen dynasty, banned a communication from other countries but the China. It means, those who were living in Nguyen dynasty can’t approach to a better culture, education, invention and especially sciences. They didn’t learn Maths, Physics, Chemistry, . . . in order to reach modern invention and development which are changed outside day by day. They just learnt the national language and culture. They didn’t get logical mind, and be limited by thinking. Meanwhile, in Japanese dynasty, Emperor Meiji who had studied abroad reformed to industrialize and militarize economy and social. He sent excellent students who would keep on changing and developing Japan to other countries. That is reason why the Vietnamese didn’t know of Europe modern and powerful gun or cannons, then were dominated by French; but, the Japanese after having had suffered national politics crisis strongly went up on economy and military so as to be a great power. With this instance I’m giving, science is logical mind and has affected on decision and doing, which is more detailed.
A few of the view of history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which
were related
to science will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my point at logical mind. In 18th century, the Europe countries went strong developing, industry which was up resulted modern weapon coming and
potentially
advanced economy source. At that time, Vietnamese Feudal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty-
especially
the Nguyen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
, banned a communication from other countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the China. It means, those who were living in Nguyen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
can’t approach to a better culture, education, invention and
especially
sciences. They didn’t learn
Possible spelling mistake. 'Maths' is British English.
Maths
, Physics, Chemistry
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
order to reach modern invention and development which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
outside day by day. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
the national language and culture. They didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
logical mind, and
be limited
by thinking. Meanwhile, in Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
, Emperor Meiji who had studied abroad reformed to industrialize and militarize economy and social. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
excellent students who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing and developing Japan to other countries.
That is
reason why the Vietnamese didn’t know of Europe modern and powerful gun or cannons, then
were dominated
by French;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the Japanese after having had suffered national politics crisis
strongly
went up on economy and military
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
be a great power. With this instance I’m giving, science is logical mind and has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on decision and doing, which is more detailed.
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IELTS essay Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
221 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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