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Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life.

Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life. 7arJk
Human appear, it causes history and culture which are parts of science setup. By time, science has affected importantly on our life. Science is logical mind. It solves human’ curiousnesses, difficulties. It causes a developing and better generation, world. To have more view, I give the writing going back to the history and seeing fantastic relation of science and history. History is save of human progress. While we are in human progress, we need changes. Changes is the best solving any problem and difficulties ever. For instance, The Egyptian and Mesopotamian were nearly beside to The Nile River which is advantage to agriculture but challenge with water floods each year. The Nile River helped them with rich harvest and food, then they had to have a hard calculation after water floods in Autumn. By experiences, they did maths to redivide their own farmland, then, they created a irrigation system to make use of The Nile River flow. By those, they got numbers, they got geometries, they made theorems, which are first science. Basic life demand had been completing, spirits started. A little bit about architecture, first it had been protection demand, and it was approached to cognition, religion, region, mythic, . . . For instance, The Pyramid had been built for burial, but The Egyptian with effort calculated for structure, found the way to make it real with 170 000 tons of rock in desert, left their messages or stories by drawing. Gradually, science and culture which were affected to each other are wonderful science foundation. A few of the view of history events which were related to science will clear my point at logical mind. In 18th century, the Europe countries went strong developing, industry which was up resulted modern weapon coming and potentially advanced economy source. At that time, Vietnamese Feudal dynasty- especially the Nguyen dynasty, banned a communication from other countries but the China. It means, those who were living in Nguyen dynasty can’t approach to a better culture, education, invention and especially sciences. They didn’t learn Math, Physics, Chemistry, . . . in order to reach modern invention and development which are changed outside day by day. They just learned the national language and culture. They didn’t get logical mind, and be limited by thinking. Meanwhile, in Japanese dynasty, Emperor Meiji who had studied abroad reformed to industrialize and militarize economy and social. He sent excellent students who would keep on changing and developing Japan to other countries. That is reason why the Vietnamese didn’t know of Europe modern and powerful gun or cannons, then were dominated by French; but, the Japanese after having had suffered national politics crisis strongly went up on economy and military to be a great power. With this instance I’m giving, science is logical mind and has affected on decision and doing, which is more detailed. Science has affected on biology especially human. Human is us, a part of biology studies of how our body working. For long time ago, we can’t know of our body also dangerous sicknesses. Science came and give us knowledge, learning and thinking. Now, we can cure almost of the illness and disease with medicine, prevent us from sickness risks, improve our health and save our life. Further, when studying of animal species working is made by biologists, it provide us interactions and similarities between human and animal to improve our knowledge. When science had reached certain mark, technology came. It advances agriculture, industry and service, replaces bare labors with technology working. Technology causes productive results for agriculture and industry with a low amount of bare labor but high level demand. Besides, it opens opportunities for services job. Electronic technology causes job chance for itself and global connection. Biological technology creates miracle to infertility and gives health quality and life expectancy. That is why it is essential for us to have knowledge and learning. Technology produces economy. A product which is invested with modern technology qualified and sold well, producers receive interest profit. Economy works in socialization group, which is hard related to politics working. This operation is our complex developing life and the reason that governments spend state budget on technology development. Economy invests in education. Technology advances education and student approach. A good education enables workers to use technology and well-qualified students to create invention. It supports each other and gains development. Science becomes from changes and experiences to be essential nowadays. In my opinion, the extend science has the most affected on is human’ mind and solving. It is expressed by technology developments in our life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
appear, it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
history and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which are parts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
setup. By time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
importantly
on our life.

Science is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. It solves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’
Possible spelling mistake found.
curiousnesses
, difficulties. It
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
and better generation, world. To have more view, I give the writing going back to the history and seeing fantastic relation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and history.

History is
The word "save" is a verb. Did you mean the adjective "safe"?
save
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
progress. While we are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
progress, we need
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Changes
is the best solving any problem and difficulties ever.
For instance
, The Egyptian and Mesopotamian were
nearly
beside to The Nile River which is advantage to agriculture
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
challenge with water floods each year. The Nile River
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
them with rich harvest and food, then they had to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
calculation after water floods in Autumn. By experiences, they did
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
to redivide their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
farmland, then, they created
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
irrigation system to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of The Nile River flow. By those, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
numbers, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
geometries, they made theorems, which are
first
science.

Basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
demand had been completing, spirits
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
. A
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
about architecture,
first
it had been protection demand, and it
was approached
to cognition, religion, region, mythic
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For instance
, The Pyramid had
been built
for burial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
The Egyptian with effort calculated for structure, found the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it real with 170 000 tons of rock in desert,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their messages or stories by drawing.
Gradually
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
are wonderful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
foundation.

A few of the view of history
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which
were related
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
my point at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. In 18th century, the Europe countries went strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
, industry which was up resulted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
weapon coming and
potentially
advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
source. At that time, Vietnamese Feudal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty-
especially
the Nguyen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
, banned a communication from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the China. It means, those who were living in Nguyen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
can’t approach to a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, invention and
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
. They didn’t learn Math, Physics, Chemistry
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
order to reach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
invention and development which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
outside day by day. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
learned the national language and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. They didn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, and
be limited
by thinking. Meanwhile, in Japanese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dynasty
, Emperor Meiji who had studied abroad reformed to industrialize and militarize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and social. He
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
excellent students who would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on changing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
Japan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.
That is
reason why the Vietnamese didn’t know of Europe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
and powerful gun or cannons, then
were dominated
by French;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, the Japanese after having had suffered national politics crisis
strongly
went up on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and military to be a great power. With this instance I’m giving,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
on decision and doing, which is more detailed.

Science has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
on biology
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Human
is us, a part of biology studies of how our body
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. For long time ago, we can’t know of our body
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
sicknesses.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
came and give us knowledge, learning and thinking.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, we can cure almost of the illness and disease with medicine,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from sickness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our health and save our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Further
, when studying of animal species
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
is made
by biologists, it
Did you mean "provides"?
provide
us interactions and similarities between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
and animal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our knowledge.

When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
had reached certain mark,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
came. It advances agriculture, industry and service, replaces bare labors with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
productive results for agriculture and industry with a low amount of bare labor
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
high level demand.
Besides
, it opens opportunities for services job. Electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
job chance for itself and global connection. Biological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
creates miracle to infertility and gives health quality and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
expectancy.
That is
why it is essential for us to have knowledge and learning.

Technology produces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. A product which
is invested
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
qualified and sold well, producers receive interest profit.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Economy
works in socialization group, which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
related to politics
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
working
. This operation is our complex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and the reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend state budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
development.

Economy invests in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
advances
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and student approach. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
enables workers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and well-qualified students to create invention. It supports each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and gains development.

Science becomes from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
and experiences to be essential nowadays. In my opinion,
After 'the', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'extend' is correct. If 'extend' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
the extend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affected
on is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
and solving. It
is expressed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
developments in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
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IELTS essay Topic: Write a paragraph to discuss science and its effect on our life.

Essay
  American English
10 paragraphs
763 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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