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Topic: Violence among young people has increased drastically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in the violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagre?

Topic: Violence among young people has increased drastically over the past 50 years. This rise moves in tandem with the growth in the violent media. Thus, the conclusion can be drawn that violent media is the main cause of violence among young people. Do you agree or disagre? OBnp

Over the last half century violence among young people has increased significantly as well as the development of new sources of media like television and internet. With the easy access to these new sources, teenagers are more exposed to inappropriate subjects like physical and sexual violences. Analysing these facts we can predict that violent media is clearly helping to increase the fury among young people. One of the huge source of image media in the last five centuries is the television, and teenagers used to watch it very often. Since they are still in the development phase of their personality, all information watched could be used to build it. For example, kids that watch TV shows that contains inappropriate languages will learn and also use those new vocabularies as well as assume that they should be used normally. Another point that cannot be overlook is the new source of media present nowadays called Internet. Although it could be a powerful learning tool, without the adequate supervision, it will become a huge fountain of bad examples. For instance, kids that use internet without parents supervision are easily exposed to harmful advertisements like sexual and physical violences. Thus contributing drastically for a dirty personality. In conclusion, it is clear that all the inappropriate information that reach young people through out the media sources influence them to build a aggressive personality. Although it is not possible to avoid all the harmful suppliers, parents should try to supervise closely their kids in order to prevent them from harmful information.

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 like television and internet. With the easy access to these You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlatedifferentstate-of-the-artmodernunusualunfamiliar
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, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
 are more exposed to inappropriate subjects like physical and sexual violences. Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.Analyzing
Analysing
 these facts we can predict that violent You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewstelevisionradiopublishing
media
 is clearly
 helping to increase the fury among young This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
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.

One of the huge You use this word too often, consider replacing it withorigincauseauthorityexpert
source
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media
 in the last five centuries is the television, and This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :juvenilesadolescents
teenagers
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used
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watch
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very
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often
. Since they are still
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watched
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used
 to build it. For example
, kids that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :monitor
watch
 TV This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :demonstratesportraysindicatesdisplays
shows
 that contains inappropriate languages will learn and also
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use
 those You use this word too often, consider replacing it withlatedifferentstate-of-the-artmodernunusualunfamiliar
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 vocabularies as well
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Another point that cannot be Consider using a past participle here: "overlooked".overlooked
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 of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewstelevisionradiopublishing
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 present nowadays called Internet. Although it could be a powerful learning tool, without the adequate supervision, it will become a huge fountain of This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :evil
bad
 examples. For instance
, kids that This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 internet without parents supervision are easily
 exposed to harmful advertisements like sexual and physical violences. Thus
 contributing drastically
 for a dirty personality.

In conclusion
, it is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :apparent
clear
 that all the inappropriate information that reach young This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
Did you mean "throughout"?throughout
through out
 the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewstelevisionradiopublishing
media
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withorigincauseauthorityexpert
sources
 influence them to build Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'an
a
 aggressive personality. Although it is not possible to avoid all the harmful suppliers, parents should try to supervise closely
 their kids in order to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :preclude
prevent
 them from harmful information. 