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Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community, however, others prefer to give money to national or international charities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. Write at least 250 words.

Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community, however, others prefer to give money to national or international charities. BeQV
The majority of people nowadays prefer to support the needy at individual level within the local community circle while the rest of the people choose national and international charities a option to support the ones in need. This essay will discuss both the points of view before concluding my opinion. To start with, money is the basic necessity for survival. Every now and then we see people begging or asking for support due to lack of funds and many a times it has been seen that either the people requesting for help are only faking themselves to be poor and actually it has become a business for most of them or they use it for it for crimes and in drug dealings. This is why majority of people prefer to support the people by providing them the actual items they need instead of giving them money which many of them misuses. For example: young adults found begging on streets are the drug addicts and when someone give them money, they use it to satisfy their body’s drug requirement or in other crimes. On the other hand, there are number of natural calamities and other serious disasters which creates a lot of chaos among the people, and they struggle for daily bread and butter. In such cases government come-up as the first helping hand as expected but also there are lots of individuals who fund the government accounts with donations for the rescue and safety operations. Also, many help the needy people who need shelter by funding the NGO’s and elderly homes which they feel will always be used for the goodwill of those in need. For example, in covid 19 pandemic majority of people worldwide supported their government by donating a hefty amount of money. To recapitulate, I agree with both the points as it depends on situation to situation how you can better help the people in need, and it is up to the individual about how he can help.
The majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the needy at individual level within the local community circle while the rest of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose national and international charities
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
option to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the ones in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
. This essay will discuss both the points of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
concluding my opinion.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, money is the basic necessity for survival. Every
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
begging or asking for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
due to lack of funds and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a time" or simply "times"?
a times
it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that either the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
requesting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
faking themselves to be poor and actually it has become a business for most of
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them or
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "it for".
it for it for
crimes and in drug dealings. This is why majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by providing them the actual items they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
instead
of giving them money which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them misuses.
For example
: young adults found begging on streets are the drug addicts and when someone
The pronoun 'someone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gives", "gave".
give
them money, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it to satisfy their body’s drug requirement or in other crimes.

On the other hand
, there are number of natural calamities and other serious disasters which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
chaos among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and they struggle for daily bread and butter. In such cases
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
-up as the
first
helping hand as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are lots of individuals who fund the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
accounts with donations for the rescue and safety operations.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
shelter by funding the NGO’s and elderly homes which they feel will always be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the goodwill of those in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
.
For example
, in
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid 19
pandemic
Possible agreement error. The noun 'majority' seems to be countable, so consider using: "majorities".
majority
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
worldwide supported their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by donating a hefty amount of money.

To recapitulate, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both the points as it depends on situation to situation how you can better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
, and it is up to the individual about how he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
.
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IELTS essay Some people prefer to directly help or support people who need it in the local community, however, others prefer to give money to national or international charities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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