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Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. k9EN
Majority of the world’s populations thought that the sense of satisfactions from an occupation is the most crucial part when seeking for an employment while others reckoned that stability in a job is indeed an essential. In my opinion, I believe that job satisfaction comes first before settling down to a secure job. As a future employee myself, I often heard other employees would choose job security rather than the satisfaction factor from a job itself. Firstly, it is well known that seeking for an occupation could be quite difficult considering the acceptant rate is becoming higher every year. Additionally, this condition could potentially harm unemployed people as finding jobs would be more challenging and to be able to get accepted into a company is such a blessing. Secondly, psychologically speaking, secured job might maintain the worker mental wellness since having a stable job means that they could provide for their family day to day basis. Lastly, having a stable job means that they could get privileges as a senior employee such as insurance and other benefits. However, for me personally, I would rather chase for a satisfaction in a job and the reason is simply because of my well-being. The University of Indonesia’s researcher stated that job satisfaction could be a healthier option than a secured job since parts of our brain that activates a sense of satisfaction will release endorphin hormone which may leads to a happier life. Furthermore, a fulfilled life is a lot meaningful rather than wasting our time and effort in an occupation that we do not satisfied. Moreover, study from Harvard University shows that the average American that satisfied with their jobs have the highest income compared to the one that are not satisfied with their occupations. In conclusion, occupations in general have their own advantages and disadvantages. In spite of that, a plethora of people including myself prefer a satisfying job instead of a secured one.
Majority of the world’s populations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfactions
from an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
is the most crucial part when seeking for an employment while others reckoned that stability in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is
indeed
an essential. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
settling down to a secure job.

As a future employee myself, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
heard other employees would choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security
rather
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
factor from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
itself.
Firstly
, it is well known that seeking for an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
could be quite difficult considering the
Possible spelling mistake found.
acceptant
rate is becoming higher every year.
Additionally
, this condition could
potentially
harm unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
as finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
would be more challenging and to be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is such a blessing.
Secondly
,
psychologically
speaking, secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
might maintain the worker mental wellness since having a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
means that they could provide for their family day to day basis.
Lastly
, having a stable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
means that they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
privileges as a senior employee such as insurance and other benefits.

However
, for me
personally
, I would
rather
chase for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and the reason is
simply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of my well-being. The University of Indonesia’s researcher stated that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
could be a healthier option than a secured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
since parts of our brain that activates a sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
will release endorphin hormone which may leads to a happier life.
Furthermore
, a fulfilled life is a lot meaningful
rather
than wasting our time and effort in an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
that we do not satisfied.
Moreover
, study from Harvard University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the average American that satisfied with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
have the highest income compared to the one that are not satisfied with their occupations.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupations
in general
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages and disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
that, a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
including myself prefer a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
instead
of a secured one.
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IELTS essay Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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