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Topic Technology has caused the traditional skills and ways of lifevto die. It is pointless to ensure their survival. Do you agree ?

Topic Technology has caused the traditional skills and ways of lifevto die. It is pointless to ensure their survival. Do you agree? 9Lwgw
The development of technology has caused the death of traditional skills and old lifestyles. Some people are questioning themselves now and then. Is it really necessary to preserve the old ways of living and the old skills? Let me use this opportunity to answer this question, personally, I am completely convinced that it is essential to keep our traditional skills together with our old lifestyles. This is mainly because l value culture. Moreover, these two factors are a source of tourists attraction. I concur that we have to keep our old skills and methods of living, because they define our culture and give us an identity. Furthermore, it is the way we live and the traditional skills that differentiate us among other people. Personally, I believe culture is a source of pride to many people. Owing, to the above I feel we need to ensure that our lifestyles and traditional skills will live longer, so that we keep our source of pride, culture. We have countries like Swaziland, they have managed to preserve their traditional skills such as dancing, cooking, dressing and hunting. To date Swaziland is a popular country only because of its culture which is is unique. The last reason, which makes me believe that traditional skills have to be protected from extinction, is the role they play in tourism. They are a source of tourist attraction. In many instances, tourists travel to very far countries only to witness how they live and do their things. One clear case is Swaziland, in Swaziland they have a dancing ceremony, which they usually hold in September, called Reed dance. This ceremony is very popular, and it usually attracts tourists from as far as the USA. For this reason, the traditional skills and methods of living must not perish. In conclusion, it is crucial to ensure that the traditional skills and ways of life live for many centuries so that culture is preserved and tourist have something to enjoy.
The development of technology has caused the death of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
lifestyles.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are questioning themselves
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and then. Is it
really
necessary to preserve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
ways of living and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this opportunity to answer this question,
personally
, I am completely convinced that it is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
together with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
lifestyles. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
l value
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Moreover
, these two factors are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
attraction.

I concur that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and methods of living,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they define our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and give us an identity.
Furthermore
, it is the way we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
that differentiate us among other

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
people
.
Personally
, I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of pride to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Owing, to the above I feel we need to ensure that our lifestyles and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
longer,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of pride,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. We have countries like Swaziland, they have managed to preserve their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
such as dancing, cooking, dressing and hunting. To date Swaziland is a popular country
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
which
Possible typo: you repeated a word
is is
unique.

The last reason, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be protected
from extinction, is the role they play in tourism. They are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attraction. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
instances,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to witness how they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and do their things. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
case is Swaziland, in Swaziland they have a dancing ceremony, which they
usually
hold in September, called Reed dance. This ceremony is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular, and it
usually
attracts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
from as far as the USA.
For this reason
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and methods of living
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not perish.

In conclusion
, it is crucial to ensure that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and ways of life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
centuries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is preserved
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
have something to enjoy.
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IELTS essay Topic Technology has caused the traditional skills and ways of lifevto die. It is pointless to ensure their survival. Do you agree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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