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Topic: People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives but few people achieve it. What are causes and suggest possible solution.

Topic: People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives but few people achieve it. What are causes and suggest possible solution. 7LbO5
Nowadays, people are facing problems in balancing their personal and professional lives, but there are some people who are able to achieve a balance between their work and personal lives. There are some reasons behind this problem and also some practical solutions to resolve it; which I will discuss in this essay. The first step is to understand why the majority of the people cannot make steadiness between their work and private lives. There are many reasons behind this. The first reason is the busy work schedule of everyone. Nowadays, everyone wants to live their dream life, therefore to fulfill their dreams, people use to work overtime so that they can get more pay. As a result, they hardly spend time with their loved ones. The second reason is the advancement of technology. For example, if a person gets free time from their job, then that person prefers to spend that time on social media rather than spending time with their family members. Moving further, it is easy to overcome this problem. Firstly, a person needs to learn how to distribute time between working life and private life, such as spending weekends with family members or organizing a small trip with loved ones. Secondly, the government should impose a law regarding limiting working time to guarantee sufficient rest time for working people. To conclude, I personally think that a person should work hard to fulfill their dreams but a person should also spend some quality time with their family members and for himself.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are facing problems in balancing their personal and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are able to achieve a balance between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this problem and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
practical solutions to resolve it; which I will discuss in this essay.

The
first
step is to understand why the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
steadiness between their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
behind this. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule of everyone. Nowadays, everyone wants to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their dream life,
therefore
to fulfill their dreams,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Make sure that 'use to' is correct. For habitual actions in the past or to mean 'accustomed to', use "used to".
use to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overtime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more pay.
As a result
, they hardly spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones. The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the advancement of technology.
For example
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
from their job, then that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
prefers to spend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media
rather
than spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members.

Moving
further
, it is easy to overcome this problem.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
needs to learn how to distribute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
between working life and private life, such as spending weekends with family members or organizing a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
trip with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.
Secondly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should impose a law regarding limiting working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to guarantee sufficient rest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To conclude
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to fulfill their dreams
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
also
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family members and for himself.
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IELTS essay Topic: People aim to achieve a balance between their work and lives but few people achieve it. What are causes and suggest possible solution.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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