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When an immigrant moves to a new country they should adopt the culture, language and customs of their new country and not hold on to traditions of their homeland.

When an immigrant moves to a new country they should adopt the culture, language and customs of their new country and not hold on to traditions of their homeland. L9KoG
Many individuals consider that after an immigrant transfer to a new nation they ought to know about the country's traditions. While a considerable number of people believe they must forget their homeland, however; I strongly disagree with this statement due to different reasons. This essay will shed light on what an immigrant should do in another country and focus on homeland. On one hand, workers after moving to a new city to find a new job they absolutely must remember their hometown, because they were born in a country that took care of their life and other people should know more about their native country. For instance, In United Arab Emirates there are a great number of Egyptian workers and those individuals spread their region's culture, uniform and primary language. The United Arab Emirates assessed the situation about letting immigrants spread the culture of other countries. As a result of helping youths to develop their knowledge and build a nation of innovative brains. Hence the belief that sharing the traditions will not impact the country detrimentally. On the other hand, Many immigrants take pride in discussing more about their city and appreciate what the nation has given its citizens. Their homeland gave them all the materials, food, money and education to be a successful person in the future, not like others who believe in overnight success. To illustrate, a shocking number of people left their original place to find a new destination to have a successful life and eradicate poor lifestyle. Moreover, some Asian, Iranian and Arabian people want to share their hometown life, as a reason for getting attention. This proves clearly that migrants want to let humans know about their country. To sum up, after a careful analysis of disagreement. I believe that it is a great idea that immigrants share more and more about their culture or language. Country progresses based on new cultures and new experiments from other regions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals consider that after an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
transfer to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
nation they ought to know about the country's traditions. While a considerable number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
forget their homeland,
however
; I
strongly
disagree with this statement due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons. This essay will shed light on what an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrant
should do in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and focus on homeland.

On one hand, workers after moving to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
city to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
job they
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember their hometown,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
were born
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
that took care of their life and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should know more about their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, In United Arab Emirates there are a great number of Egyptian workers and those individuals spread their region's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, uniform and primary language. The United Arab Emirates assessed the situation about letting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
spread the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
of helping youths to develop their knowledge and build a nation of innovative brains.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
the belief that sharing the traditions will not impact the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
detrimentally
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
take pride in discussing more about their city and appreciate what the nation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
its citizens. Their homeland gave them all the materials, food, money and education to be a successful person in the future, not like others who believe in overnight success. To illustrate, a shocking number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
their original place to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
destination to have a successful life and eradicate poor lifestyle.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Asian, Iranian and Arabian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to share their hometown life, as a reason for getting attention. This proves
clearly
that migrants want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
humans know about their country.

To sum up, after a careful analysis of disagreement. I believe that it is a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
immigrants
share more and more about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
or language.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
progresses based on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
experiments from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
regions.

IELTS essay When an immigrant moves to a new country they should adopt the culture, language and customs of their new country and not hold on to traditions of their homeland.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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