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TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. Discuss both methods and give your own opinion on which is better. v.5

TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. v. 5
Some people prefer to donate native communities or directly support underprivileged people, whereas other people donate money in bigger-scale agencies. Basically, each method owns benefits aims for a better society, but the latter method is more outstanding than the former ones. The local donation is a good measure that source of giving is quantitatively limited immediately impacts the people received help. Canteen, for example, which provides non-charged food just supplies for a certain amount of food and for a certain number of people per day. Citizens directly provide help to their local charitable organizations, but there is always restricted in a number of citizens who are willing to give away. Hence, the amount of local support is not abundant all the time, so that this is a minus point of this method. Additionally, because of the direct giving, the residents can receive immediately the help without long time to wait that means this method timely satisfies the needs of the miserable people, while the larger-scale organizations have to contemplate before giving helping decisions. Ultimately, the local charity just provides small-scale and instable solutions. In contrast, national or international organizations are the optimal measures can solve big issues: national dilemma and global headache with plentiful support that the local charity cannot afford. UNICEF, for example, appeal people to support financially in order to conduct its necessary measures. The financial source of these organizations comes from all corners of the world, so it apparently is larger than the budget of local charitable entities. Besides, the national and international organizations concentrate on problems which are necessary to handle, affect the economic development of the world. Thus, supporting for these organizations can solve the global emergency crisis that the local charity cannot carry, brings positive effect to everyone on the world. Fundamentally, this method can work on difficult dilemma at a lower financial pressure. In conclusion, the local donation can give local solutions, but its financial support is fluctuated; the larger scales of charity not only have sufficient budget, but also resolve the national or international issues. Apparently, the national or international donation method is still better than the other, because it can solve the global problems in sustainable financial support. However, people should donate within their ability to improve the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to donate native communities or
directly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
underprivileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, whereas other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
donate money in bigger-scale agencies.
Basically
, each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owns
benefits aims for a better society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the latter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is more outstanding than the former ones.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
donation is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
measure that source of giving is
quantitatively
limited immediately impacts the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
received
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
. Canteen,
for example
, which provides non-charged food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
supplies for a certain amount of food and for a certain number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
per day. Citizens
directly
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there is always restricted in a number of citizens who are willing to give away.
Hence
, the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is not abundant all the time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this is a minus point of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the direct giving, the residents can receive immediately the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
without long time to wait that means this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
timely satisfies the needs of the miserable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while the larger-scale
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
contemplate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving helping decisions.
Ultimately
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
provides
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
-scale and
Possible spelling mistake found.
instable
solutions.

In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
are the optimal measures can solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issues:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
dilemma and global headache with plentiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
cannot afford. UNICEF,
for example
, appeal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
financially
in order to conduct its necessary measures. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
source of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from all corners of the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
apparently
is larger than the budget of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
charitable entities.
Besides
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
concentrate on problems which are necessary to handle, affect the economic development of the world.
Thus
, supporting for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
can solve the global emergency crisis that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
cannot carry, brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect to everyone on the world.
Fundamentally
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
can work on difficult dilemma at a lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
pressure.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
donation can give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
solutions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
is fluctuated
; the larger scales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charity
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have sufficient budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
issues.
Apparently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
national
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
donation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
is
still
better than the other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can solve the global problems in sustainable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should donate within their ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the society.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
52Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay TOPIC: Nowadays, some people like to give help to the local community or provide people with direct help. Other people prefer to give money to national and international organizations. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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