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Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying jobs, To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.1

Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying jobs, v. 1
With the ever-increasing competitiveness between those university graduates, some students have decided to choose a university major that can obtain jobs with higher pay. The essay will discuss why I partially agree that based on their future career opportunity and their dreams. First of all, I believe that a person’s interest should be the biggest factor when choosing a major. If a student chooses a major that is only based on financial reward rather than on fulfilment will lead to a life of misery as we spend most of our lives at work. People are only willing to dedicate their time and money for what they really like otherwise they are not going to enjoy it. For example, many medical students change their major to art during their university career even though they have almost finished it. Working in a gallery each day, surrounded by their drawings in their rooms, is what they really want. As a result, students should choose to major in an area where they can see themselves happy and fulfilled. If high salary comes along with that, then it’s a bonus. However, for those students that have no idea what major they should choose, studying a major that can have a higher salary is not a bad idea. Some degrees such as science or engineering are more likely to secure jobs and a clear career trajectory. Although they may not enjoy their university lives, it is probably worthwhile. For instance, in Hong Kong, engineers have an average wage of around $30000 and a promotion opportunity every three years. In comparison, more often than not, those university graduates with humanities or social science degrees have relatively low wages. Therefore, not taking a science or engineering major is obviously a bad idea in the sense that your future career will be a lack of choices. Having discussed that students after university graduation are more likely to have a clear career trajectory and are able to know more creative and knowledgeable colleagues. In my opinion, I agree that they should choose a university major to further their studies if they have a clear dream and ambition.
With the ever-increasing competitiveness between those
university
graduates,
some
students
have decided to
choose
a
university
major
that can obtain jobs with higher pay. The essay will discuss why I
partially
agree
that based on their future
career
opportunity and their dreams.

First of all
, I believe that a person’s interest should be the biggest factor when choosing a
major
. If a
student
chooses
a
major
that is
only
based on financial reward
rather
than on
fulfilment
will lead to a life of misery as we spend most of our
lives
at work.
People
are
only
willing to dedicate their time and money for what they
really
like
otherwise
they are not going to enjoy it.
For example
,
many
medical
students
change
their
major
to art during their
university
career
even though
they have almost finished it. Working in a gallery each day, surrounded by their drawings in their rooms, is what they
really
want.
As a result
,
students
should
choose
to
major
in an area where they can
see
themselves happy and fulfilled. If high salary
comes
along with that, then it’s a bonus.

However
, for those
students
that have no
idea
what
major
they should
choose
, studying a
major
that can have a higher salary is not a
bad
idea
.
Some
degrees such as science or engineering are more likely to secure jobs and a
clear
career
trajectory. Although they may not enjoy their
university
lives
, it is
probably
worthwhile.
For instance
, in Hong Kong, engineers have an average wage of around $30000 and a promotion opportunity every three years.
In comparison
, more
often
than not, those
university
graduates with humanities or social science degrees have
relatively
low wages.
Therefore
, not taking a science or engineering
major
is
obviously
a
bad
idea
in the sense that your future
career
will be a lack of choices.

Having discussed that
students
after
university
graduation are more likely to have a
clear
career
trajectory and are able to know more creative and knowledgeable colleagues. In my opinion, I
agree
that they should
choose
a
university
major
to
further
their studies if they have a
clear
dream and ambition.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Students should choose a university major that prepares them for high-paying jobs, v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
357 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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