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Topic 2: Cooperation rather than competition should be encouraged among high-school students.

Topic 2: Cooperation rather than competition should be encouraged among high-school students. leDGX
It is believed that it’s necessarily significant to motivate students to be taught about cooperation. From my point of view, I agree with this statement since the great benefits that collaboration brings about. First and foremost, students can improve their skills which are needed to develop themselves. Pupils have to change the bad habits they had before and be equipped with the skills to cooperate with their peers. They could learn how to do teamwork, be more responsible for work, time management and other experiences. These skills have played a crucial part in helping them become the best version of themselves and be more self-confident. Secondly, cooperation is a good way for students to better their personalities. When cooperating, pupils and their partners will help each other to complete the work perfectly. They may listen and learn from their peers, gain knowledge from them and select essential things which are useful for them to conduct themselves. Helpfulness and sharing opinions among colleagues might make them more creative by consulting their partners’ views and being more intelligent to work effectively. Last but not least, cooperation is one of the most vital keys which open the door to career success. All parties who participate in the association can take advantage of a win-and-win case. Students and their peers could easily succeed rather than work without the help of other people. Almost all the targets are proposed will be completed so fast as they want. As a result, pupils’ job progress to favourable development and advance in their future career. In conclusion, communal life needs collaboration to increase the connection between citizens. Hopefully, cooperation should be widely encouraged among students, especially high-school pupils, because they play a significant role in developing our country.
It
is believed
that it’s
necessarily
significant to motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
be taught
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement since the great benefits that collaboration brings about.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which
are needed
to develop themselves.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits they had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and
be equipped
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to cooperate with their peers. They could learn how to do teamwork, be more responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
, time management and other experiences. These
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
have played a crucial part in helping them become the best version of themselves and be more self-confident.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to better their personalities. When cooperating,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
and their partners will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to complete the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
perfectly
. They may listen and learn from their peers, gain knowledge from them and select essential things which are useful for them to conduct themselves. Helpfulness and sharing opinions among colleagues might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them more creative by consulting their partners’ views and being more intelligent to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
effectively
.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
is one of the most vital keys which open the door to career success. All parties who participate in the association can take advantage of a win-and-win case.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
and their peers could
easily
succeed
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. Almost all the targets
are proposed
will
be completed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as they want.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils’
job progress to
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
development and advance in their future career.

In conclusion
, communal life needs collaboration to increase the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
citizens.
Hopefully
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cooperation
should be
widely
encouraged among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
especially
high-school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pupils
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they play a significant role in developing our country.
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IELTS essay Topic 2: Cooperation rather than competition should be encouraged among high-school students.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
290 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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