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If you were given the opportunity to do an unusual job, what would it be?

If you were given the opportunity to do an unusual job, what would it be? ABxLN
There are many dangerous jobs over the world, but in my opinion, glass cleaner for high-rise buildings is the scariest job. If I had to do that jobs, I would go crazy. First of all, in oder to work as a glass cleaner for high-rise buildings you have to be a very brave person. Swinging in the air all day, so people who work as glass cleaner for high rise buildings are liked to Spider-Man. They have to face dangers that are always lurking. Besides, they also have to carry a lot of thing with them such as glass cleaning tools, water, glass cleaning solution, balance equipment, … their job is not simply to clean the dust, but also to keep every things safe with them, even the working tools must not to dropped avoid accidents for themselves and other below. Secondly, the weather is also a very important factor in this job. It is obvious because this is outdoor work. The outside building is covered with glass, so there is almost no place to hang on, each person has to hold themselves firmly with special tools. Whenever there was a breeze even if it was light if they were just a little distracted, they were immediately swayed like a pendulum in the air. According to the experience of a long time glass cleaner, in the afternoon the weather is often volatile with high winds, so the safest day of the day is early morning. Sometimes they have to work all afternoon to keep up with the schedule so lunches in the air are not uncommon. It is crazy, isn’t it? This is indeed a dangerous profession. In addition to being able to earn more money than other simple cleaning jobs, workers must really love the job to last long.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
over the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
for high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is the scariest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. If I had to do that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, I would go crazy.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
oder
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
for high-rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
brave person. Swinging in the air all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
for high rise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are liked
to Spider-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Man
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
that are always lurking.
Besides
, they
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "a lot of things".
a lot of thing
with them such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
cleaning tools, water,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
cleaning solution, balance equipment, … their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is not
simply
to clean the dust,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
every things safe with them, even the working tools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not to dropped avoid accidents for themselves and other below.
Secondly
, the weather is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. It is obvious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. The outside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
is covered
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there is almost no place to hang on, each person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
hold themselves
firmly
with special tools. Whenever there was a breeze even if it was light if they were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
distracted, they were immediately swayed like a pendulum in the air. According to the experience of a long time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
glass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cleaner
, in the afternoon the weather is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
volatile with high winds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the safest day of the day is early morning.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
all afternoon to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the schedule
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
lunches in the air are not uncommon. It is crazy, isn’t it? This is
indeed
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
profession.
In addition
to being able to earn more money than other simple cleaning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, workers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
to last long.
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IELTS essay If you were given the opportunity to do an unusual job, what would it be?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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