Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Topic 14: Advertisements on mass media, especially on TV are misleading people, making them buy things that are not as good as they are advertised. Hence, some people think that advertising should be banned.

Topic 14: Advertisements on mass media, especially on TV are misleading people, making them buy things that are not as good as they are advertised. Hence, some people think that advertising should be banned. 0nYW1
Advertising has considered as the most effective way of increasing sales of the advertised products. Some people believed that advertisements had had negative effects on people. From my point of view, I totally see eye to eye with this statement. To begin with, advertisements haven’t assured their quality so that they can be harmful to people’s health. There is a great number of corporations having illegitimate behaviour so as to take in users. In manufacturing, they may take measures to reduce resources and quality of goods to make personal profits. However, in the advertisement, all of the products are recognized that they will ensure the best quality to consumers. Moreover, some immense organizations will use strategies such as hiring famous stars to endorse their products so that they can attract enormous buyers’ attention. Therefore, there will be more and more consumers who highly believed in these deceptive tricks, can use these low-quality goods widely without knowing the horrible truth behind them. Another disadvantage of advertisement is it can be a tool wasting money in customers’ pockets. Because of fascinating advertisements, buyers sometimes buy what tempts them without the insight of what they really need. Impressive videos, pictures will be bound to leave an imprint on them. Therefore, they will buy goods by trend and without precise purposes whether products are expensive. For instance, customers warmly welcomed and highly supported when renowned companies and brands launch new products. Notably, the phone industry has received an immense response from buyers. When some corporations such as Apple, Samsung or Oppo launch their new version of the phone, people tend to spend money on it though they have their own still useful mobile phone before. In conclusion, while some people believed that advertisements’ aims are helpful, I object to this declaration due to the adverse effects that promotions have brought to buyers. Hopefully, they will be banned from slide showing on mass media, especially on TV so as to reduce the drawbacks they will influence on people.
Advertising has considered as the most effective way of increasing sales of the advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
had had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. From my point of view, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
eye to eye with this statement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
haven’t assured their quality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be harmful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. There is a great number of corporations having illegitimate
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
take in users. In manufacturing, they may take measures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
resources and quality of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
personal profits.
However
, in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
,
Consider using "all the".
all of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are recognized
that they will ensure the best quality to consumers.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
immense organizations will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
strategies such as hiring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
stars to endorse their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can attract enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers’
attention.
Therefore
, there will be more and more consumers who
highly
believed in these deceptive tricks, can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
these low-quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
widely
without knowing the horrible truth behind them.

Another disadvantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
is it can be a tool wasting money in customers’ pockets.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what tempts them without the insight of what they
really
need. Impressive videos, pictures will
be bound
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
an imprint on them.
Therefore
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
by trend and without precise purposes whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are expensive.
For instance
, customers
warmly
welcomed and
highly
supported when renowned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and brands launch new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
Notably
, the phone industry has received an immense response from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
corporations such as Apple, Samsung or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Oppo
launch their new version of the phone,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to spend money on it
Did you mean "thought"?
though
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
still
useful mobile phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements’
aims are helpful, I object to this declaration due to the adverse effects that promotions have brought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buyers
.
Hopefully
, they will
be banned
from slide showing on mass media,
especially
on TV
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the drawbacks they will influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Topic 14: Advertisements on mass media, especially on TV are misleading people, making them buy things that are not as good as they are advertised. Hence, some people think that advertising should be banned.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts