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Too many old historic buildings are in danger and are being destroyed in countries. What are the main reason? How to prevent them?

Too many old historic buildings are in danger and are being destroyed in countries. What are the main reason? How to prevent them? x0NEN
History plays an important role in getting better knowledge about any country's culture, tradition and religions etc. Nowadays too many ancient building are being destroyed. This essay will discus the reason behind the buildings destroyed and offer various solution of this trend. To initiate with, more complexes are made as a replacement of heritage concern. To be explain due to increasing in development of technology people are learning their interest to shopping malls, cinema. Consequently this will decrease the interest of ancient buildings. For instance, in America many old buildings are destroyed and goverment spend their money on reconstruction of cinema instead of investing funds on historic building. Secondly many of childrens are not knowing their culture. How they was in past. A plethora of pupil are now familiar with advance technology so they are spend most of the time on mobiles or computers instead of doing research about ancient people or historic buildings. Moving on the some desire solution, government can take appropriate measures to safe the famous immemorial buildings such as allocation of funds that was used in ancient structure and helps for protecting them for destruction. Another possible answer is that Authorities should provide some cultural festival that it will attract more students to gain knowledge of ancient buildings. To be conclude, it is evident that there are few factor due to which these problem became global concern such as increasing in technology. However I believe that government should take funds to rebuilt and attract students to historic buildings.
History plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in getting better knowledge about any country's culture, tradition and religions etc. Nowadays too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
. This essay will
Did you mean the verb "discuss" (= talk about something)?
discus
the reason behind the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and offer various solution of this trend.

To initiate with, more complexes
are made
as a replacement of heritage concern. To be
Consider using a past participle here: "explained".
explain
due to increasing in development of technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are learning their interest to shopping malls, cinema.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Consequently
this will decrease the interest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
For instance
, in America
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
spend their money on reconstruction of cinema
instead
of investing funds on historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
.
Secondly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are not knowing
their culture. How they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
was
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. A plethora of pupil are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
familiar with advance technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are
Consider using a past participle here: "spent".
spend
most of the time on mobiles or computers
instead
of doing research about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
or historic buildings.

Moving on the
Did you mean "same"?
some
desire solution,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can take appropriate measures to safe the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
immemorial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
such as allocation of funds that was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
structure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
for protecting them for destruction. Another possible answer is that Authorities should provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cultural festival that it will attract more students to gain knowledge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ancient
buildings.

To be
Consider using a past participle here: "concluded".
conclude
, it is evident that there are few
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "factors"?
factor
due to which
Did you mean "this problem" or "these problems"?
these problem
became global concern such as increasing in technology.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take funds to rebuilt and attract students to historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
.
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IELTS essay Too many old historic buildings are in danger and are being destroyed in countries. What are the main reason? How to prevent them?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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