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In recent years, some people think that studying subjects in school such as art, music, physics ,... are waste of time, while others think that those subjects are important to students. In my essay, I will mention the pros and cons of this issue before drawing my own conclusion.

In recent years, some people think that studying subjects in school such as art, music, physics, . . . are waste of time, while others think that those subjects are important to students. In my essay, I will mention the pros and cons of this issue before drawing my own conclusion. 0M7O5
On the one hand, it has some benefits as follows. Studying a variety of subjects helps students develop both physically and mentally. For example, some students are inactive, gym classes at school will help them improve their physical health and also help students relax their minds. Second, students will shape their future careers. In other words, studying many subjects at school will help students expose different knowledge, as well as students will realize what subjects they are good at and based on that to develop those mindsets follow a future career. Finally, it will give students a general knowledge. that means all students will receive the same amount of knowledge and develop in an equally fulfilling environment. On the other hand, there are some problems related to it. The first is that it puts pressure on students. In reality, schools require students to balance grades in all subjects, which leads to many students being stressed by having to cram too much into their heads in order to do well in their studies. Another is that students will not have much time for a particular subject. For example, this student is good at mental subjects such as math, physics, but also has to memorize lessons in subjects such as history and geography to prepare for the exam in class. Last but not least, It also affects the health of students. Especially for high school students because they have to prepare for the transfer exam, those students have to study all morning and afternoon, at night they have to take extra lessons and when they come home, they still have to homework for tomorrow. In short, everything has two sides, and this issues no exception. Personally, I think its disadvantages outweigh its advantages. Therefore, I only choose to study more in subjects related to my career in the future so as not to cause too much pressure and stress for myself.
On the one hand, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits as follows. Studying a variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
develop both
physically
and mentally.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are inactive, gym classes at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical health and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
relax their minds. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will shape their future careers.
In other words
, studying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
expose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge,
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will realize what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at and based on that to develop those mindsets follow a future career.
Finally
, it will give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "general knowledge".
a general knowledge
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
means all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will receive the same amount of knowledge and develop in an
equally
fulfilling environment.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems related to it. The
first
is that it puts pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In reality,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to balance grades in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, which leads to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
by having to cram too much into their heads in order to do well in their studies. Another is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not have much time for a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
For example
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as math, physics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
memorize lessons in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
such as history and geography to prepare for the exam in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, It
also
affects the health of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Especially
for high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
prepare for the transfer exam, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study all morning and afternoon, at night they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take extra lessons and when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home, they
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
homework for tomorrow.

In short, everything has two sides, and this issues no exception.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its disadvantages outweigh its advantages.
Therefore
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
choose to study more in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to my career in the future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
as not to cause too much pressure and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
for myself.
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IELTS essay In recent years, some people think that studying subjects in school such as art, music, physics, . . . are waste of time, while others think that those subjects are important to students. In my essay, I will mention the pros and cons of this issue before drawing my own conclusion.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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