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TOEFL essay: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing games teaches us about life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.3

TOEFL essay: Playing games teaches us about life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3
There are many modes of transportation such as railways and roadways. Some People think the government should spend money on railways rather than roads and some people believes vice versa. This is a debatable topic. In today's world, due to advancement in technology, There are many types of trails that are available now. Such as metro, general. There are many advantages of railways. It provides employment to the citizens of the country which helps to grow in the gross domestic product GDP and revenue. Nowadays, Electric trains are running so, it will help in the eco-friendly. Another benefit of railways is to decrease the traffic jam and minimize the time to travel from one place to another. In the metro politicians, cities like Mumbai, Banglore, Delhi daily, millions of people travel through the train due to which they reached the office at the time and save the money. It is readily available to the people. On the other hand, The Railways have some disadvantages such as it cannot drop people to their doorstep. So We will use the roadways. Another problem is, sometimes it takes a longer path than shorter. Railways have their own routes, and they followed it so sometimes it makes the long way to reach the destination. By using a private vehicle, we can go anywhere at any time, but by railways, that is not possible. In the last, going to hilly areas or trips railways are not the best option to travel. In conclusion, I would like to say that the railways have more benefits than the roadways so the government should spend more money on railways rather than roads.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
modes of transportation such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
and roadways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than roads and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
believes
vice versa. This is a debatable topic.

In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world, due to advancement in technology, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of trails that are available
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Such as metro, general. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
. It provides employment to the citizens of the country which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to grow in the gross domestic product GDP and revenue. Nowadays, Electric trains are running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the eco-friendly. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
is to decrease the traffic jam and minimize the time to travel from one place to another. In the metro politicians, cities like Mumbai,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Banglore
, Delhi daily, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel through the train due to which they reached the office at the time and save the money. It is
readily
available to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages such as it cannot drop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their doorstep.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
We will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the roadways. Another problem is,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it takes a longer path than shorter.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Railways
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
routes, and they followed it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the long way to reach the destination. By using a private vehicle, we can go anywhere at any time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
,
that is
not possible. In the last, going to hilly areas or trips
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
are not the best option to travel.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
have more benefits than the roadways
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
railways
rather
than roads.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay TOEFL essay: Playing games teaches us about life. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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