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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement? OVl1k
In modern world, finance has become a key skill to master for the people. A lot of people have failed to understand the criticality of financial education and have suffered from its ramification during life impacting decision making. Many of the successful people have mentioned financial awareness as one of the most vital and rewarding skill. I reckon that financial education shall start at an early age itself such that our students of today are able to make intelligent financial choices tomorrow. I fully subscribe to the idea of providing early financial education to students and in this essay, I will share some of the reasons why one needs to start and learn early when it comes to financial education. Let's understand the impact of lack of education by means of past instances. There have been plethora of cases, where young adults, have been lured into fraud financial schemes. The allurement of meteoric gains in a short time has often led people making investment into such fraud schemes. Some of the fraud schemes have pushed people on the brink of bankruptcy while some others have left no choice for people but to commit suicide. In certain cases, young adults have been coaxed into making ill-advised investments into long-term schemes offering less return but high commission to the agent. This in turn has resulted into lesser money going into the scheme and more money going into agent's account. On the other hand, if the students are provided financial education, they will be better equipped to factor financial risks while buying a policy, taking a loan, and making an investment. In conclusion, given how the financial systems have evolved over time, and how complex they have become, it is imperative for today's educational institutes to provide financial education for the students.
In modern world, finance has become a key
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
to master for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have failed to understand the criticality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and have suffered from its ramification during life impacting
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have mentioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
awareness as one of the most vital and rewarding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
. I reckon that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
shall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
at an early age itself such that our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
choices tomorrow. I
fully
subscribe to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of providing early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and in this essay, I will share
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reasons why one needs to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
and learn early when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
education.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
's understand the impact of lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
by means of past instances. There have been plethora of cases, where young adults, have
been lured
into fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
. The allurement of meteoric gains in a short time has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
making investment into such fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
.
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
Some of the
fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
have pushed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on the brink of bankruptcy while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
no choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to commit suicide.

In certain cases, young adults have
been coaxed
into making ill-advised investments into long-term
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schemes
offering less return
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
high commission to the agent. This in turn has resulted into lesser money going into the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scheme
and more money going into agent's account.

On the other hand
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are provided
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they will be better equipped to factor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
while buying a policy, taking a loan, and making an investment.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
systems have evolved over time, and how complex they have become, it is imperative for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's educational institutes to provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
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IELTS essay Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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