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Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement? LnlR
Nowadays, many people think that schools should teach pupils about financial literacy, which help them survive in the real world. This essay argues with this point of view and suggests that the government should change the curriculum, and give preference to vital subjects such as finance. However, people should understand that they cannot survive without cash, due to it they should be good in finance. It is clear that today several people have problems with earning money. Many individuals spend a plethora of cash on products every day. Therefore, most men do not know prices and what they really need to buy, and spent money on unnecessary thing. Consequently, it shows that people have a problem with math and economy, which lead to big problems. Schools should give preference to teaching natural sciences, which can solve the problems above. According to the scientists’ research, in Russia, 25% of citizens do not know, wherethey spent money is the prime example. This essay agrees that schools play a significant role in a child’s education. Moreover, many children’s behaviour and skills, like: making decision and thinking, is developed at an early age, mainly when they studied at school. Schools should find children’s weaknesses in math, economy, and finance, then help them to solve them. Despite this, it should be noted that people also should try to keep an eye on savings. For example, in Tamos education school, they have electives, which explain how to become rich without strict rules. In conclusion, schools should educate students on how allocate their money in the real world from an early age, and people also keep track of their spending.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should teach pupils about financial literacy, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them survive in the real world. This essay argues with this point of view and suggests that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the curriculum, and give preference to vital subjects such as finance.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should understand that they cannot survive without cash, due to
Consider adding a comma here.
it
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in finance.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
with earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
individuals spend a plethora of cash on products every day.
Therefore
, most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
do not know prices and what they
really
need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
, and spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on unnecessary thing.
Consequently
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with math and economy, which lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should give preference to teaching natural sciences, which can solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
above. According to the scientists’ research, in Russia, 25% of citizens do not know,
Possible spelling mistake found.
wherethey
spent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the prime example.

This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
play a significant role in a child’s education.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
children’s
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, like: making decision and thinking,
is developed
at an early age,
mainly
when they studied at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should find children’s weaknesses in math, economy, and finance, then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to solve them. Despite this, it should
be noted
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
an eye on savings.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Tamos
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, they have electives, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
how to become rich without strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should educate students on how allocate their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the real world from an early age, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of their spending.
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IELTS essay Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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