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Today's parents spent too little time staying with their children and you T.V to make their children keep quiet explained the reason and results by using your relevant experience

Today's parents spent too little time staying with their children and you T. V to make their children keep quiet explained the reason and results by using your relevant experience r0q6
In this contemporary era television becomes the weapon for the parents that can distract their children immediately. The indulgence in such gadets has many reasons and respective consequences which are discussed in this essay. These days, As the need of every household increase, the requirement of money also enhanced and they can only be fulfilled if both parents will work. So when they are away from home they let their kid to watch television so that there kid does not feel bored. Secondly, there are many educational programs are broadcasted on the television which can mushroom the cognitive ability of their kids. Lastly, the professions like acting and singing consider to be very fruitful so parents show television to their youngs to make them versatile in entertainment. However, these practices have many consequences that can ruin the future of any child. To begin with, there will be depletion in the attachment between parents and children, if they will not going to spend time together. Moreover kids will be more attached to television. Apart from this, this phenomena would affect the health. They might have bad eyesight, strain in neck and bad posture. Without the supervision of an adult the content of television can toxify the mind, they might lose their apothesis. Lastly, having dream only about entertainment circle might make their approach toward their career homogenous. They will be disillusional far away from the reality of this world. To put this in a nutshell, many reasons make Guardian to let their kids watch television but this practice is only lead to the kids to the doorway of the downfall unless parents establish a small amount of time to let their kid watch TV.
In this contemporary era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
becomes the weapon for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
that can distract their children immediately. The indulgence in such
Possible spelling mistake found.
gadets
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons and respective consequences which
are discussed
in this essay.

These days, As the need of every household increase, the requirement of money
also
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
enhanced and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be fulfilled
if both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
will work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
when they are away from home they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
does not feel bored.
Secondly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
educational programs
are broadcasted
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
which can mushroom the cognitive ability of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
Lastly
, the professions like acting and singing consider to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
fruitful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
to their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "young", the plural form of the noun 'young'?
youngs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them versatile in entertainment.

However
, these practices have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consequences that can ruin the future of any child. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there will be depletion in the attachment between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and children, if they will not
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "go"
going
to spend time together.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
will be more attached to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. Apart from this,
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena would affect the health. They might have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
eyesight, strain in neck and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
posture. Without the supervision of an adult the content of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
can
Possible spelling mistake found.
toxify
the mind, they might lose their
Possible spelling mistake found.
apothesis
.
Lastly
, having dream
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
about entertainment circle might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their approach toward their career homogenous. They will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
disillusional
far away from the reality of this world.

To put this in a nutshell,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Guardian to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this practice is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to the doorway of the downfall unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
establish a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount of time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV.
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IELTS essay Today's parents spent too little time staying with their children and you T. V to make their children keep quiet explained the reason and results by using your relevant experience

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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