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Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?

Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. 8rlw
It is belived that the child's nature is inherited from their biological parents even before their birth. Additionally, their is nothing which could be done to alter one's characteristic. However, I believe one's characteristic is developed according to the surrounding in which he/she was raised and the incidents which may have had deep impacts on his/her thought process. In our every day life we may have came accross many people who are vegetarien and strongly believe in vegetarianism. These people may have started developing this kind of characteristic mainly because of two reasons, they were brought up in a family or community which has strongly belived in vegetrianism or else they may have come across some animal cruality incident which may have had a deep emotional impact on their lives forcing or developing the believes in vegetarianism. Most of the people who has commited serious crimes like murder or robery have had serious childhood issues which could have affected their decision making and this is belived by the most of the psychic attending criminals in prisons. These psychic has also help criminals to become better human and their are several examples of this. Prison athorities appoint pyschic for these people to beacome a better human. To sumup, one's personality is truely dependent on the environment he/she is raised. Moreover, the incidents one come across in his/her life can also deeply affect the characteristic. In many cases psychology has helped alter one's believe and thought process. It is belived that the child's nature is inherited from their biological parents even before their birth. Additionally, their is nothing which could be done to alter one's characteristic. However, I believe one's characteristic is developed according to the surrounding in which he/she was raised and the incidents which may have had deep impacts on his/her thought process. In our every day life we may have came accross many people who are vegetarien and strongly believe in vegetarianism. These people may have started developing this kind of characteristic mainly because of two reasons, they were brought up in a family or community which has strongly belived in vegetrianism or else they may have come across some animal cruality incident which may have had a deep emotional impact on their lives forcing or developing the believes in vegetarianism. Most of the people who has commited serious crimes like murder or robery have had serious childhood issues which could have affected their decision making and this is belived by the most of the psychic attending criminals in prisons. These psychic has also help criminals to become better human and their are several examples of this. Prison athorities appoint pyschic for these people to beacome a better human. To sumup, one's personality is truely dependent on the environment he/she is raised. Moreover, the incidents one come across in his/her life can also deeply affect the characteristic. In many cases psychology has helped alter one's believe and thought process.
It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
that the child's nature
is inherited
from their biological parents even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their birth.
Additionally
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
is nothing which could
be done
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alter
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
is developed
according to the surrounding in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
which may have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
process.

In our every day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we may have
Use past participle here: "come".
came
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetarien
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in vegetarianism. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, they
were brought
up in a family or community which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetrianism
or else they may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
cruality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incident
which may have had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
forcing or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the
Did you mean "beliefs" (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
believes
in vegetarianism.

Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
crimes like murder or
Possible spelling mistake found.
robery
have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
childhood issues which could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and this is
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
by the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychic
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychic
has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "helped".
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
human and
Did you mean "there"?
their
are several examples of this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
Possible spelling mistake found.
athorities
appoint
Possible spelling mistake found.
pyschic
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacome
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
human.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
sumup
, one's personality is
Possible spelling mistake found.
truely
dependent on the environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
also
deeply
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases psychology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alter
Consider using the plural form here: "ones".
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
process. It is
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
that the child's nature
is inherited
from their biological parents even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
their birth.
Additionally
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
is nothing which could
be done
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alter
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
.
However
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
is developed
according to the surrounding in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
which may have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impacts
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
process.

In our every day
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
we may have
Use past participle here: "come".
came
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetarien
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
in vegetarianism. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, they
were brought
up in a family or community which has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strongly
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
in
Possible spelling mistake found.
vegetrianism
or else they may have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
animal
Possible spelling mistake found.
cruality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incident
which may have had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
deep
emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
forcing or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the
Did you mean "beliefs" (noun) instead of believes (verb)?
believes
in vegetarianism.

Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "committed", the past tense form of the verb 'commit'?
commited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
crimes like murder or
Possible spelling mistake found.
robery
have had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
childhood issues which could have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
and this is
Possible spelling mistake found.
belived
by the most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychic
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
psychic
has
also
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "helped".
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
human and
Did you mean "there"?
their
are several examples of this.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Prison
Possible spelling mistake found.
athorities
appoint
Possible spelling mistake found.
pyschic
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
beacome
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
human.

To
Possible spelling mistake found.
sumup
, one's personality is
Possible spelling mistake found.
truely
dependent on the environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
he/she
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raised
.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
incidents
one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
his/her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can
also
deeply
affect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
characteristic
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases psychology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alter
Consider using the plural form here: "ones".
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thought
process.
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IELTS essay Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
490 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Our personalities are predetermined as a result of our genes before we are born and there is nothing that can be done to change our character traits. To what extent do you agree?