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Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion v.1

Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past with this opinion v. 1
Being a part of this modern scenario, the living standard of the people became luxurious. However, the community's burden on the children's life is more in these days as compared to the earlier. I totally agree with this statement and discuss some reasons in the following paragraphs. To commence with, there are several reasons why teenagers suffer from stress. The first and the foremost is that the competition is burgeoning day by day in the every field and parents always do pressure on their offsprings to do the study for long hours to achieve higher scores. As in this present epoch, all the companies want well-educated workers for their work, getting the maximum marks in the academy is mandatory for young people for obtaining good jobs in the future. Evidence of this provided by the last year survey in USA by The Time and conducted that 60% of business companies impose a rule they give jobs only to meritorious students. Apart from this, today's children has stress with the choice of two cultures. Since teenagers always attach with media and watch the Western movies, they are like to follow the culture in real life. For instance, the research was found in India and it is proved that 70% of people follow the others culture due to this fact. Thus, mentors always force to children to adopt their traditional. In conclusion, I think that academic culture pressures are powerful causes of stress on today's juveniles due this they cannot enjoy their life.
Being a part of this modern scenario, the living standard of the
people
became luxurious.
However
, the community's burden on the children's life is more in these days as compared to the earlier. I
totally
agree
with this statement and discuss
some
reasons in the following paragraphs.

To commence with, there are several reasons why
teenagers
suffer from
stress
. The
first
and the foremost
is
that the competition is burgeoning day by day in the every field and parents always do pressure on their
offsprings
to do the study for long hours to achieve higher scores. As in this present epoch, all the
companies
want well-educated workers for their work, getting the maximum marks in the academy is mandatory for young
people
for obtaining
good
jobs in the future. Evidence of this provided by the last year survey
in USA
by The Time and conducted that 60% of business
companies
impose a
rule
they give jobs
only
to meritorious students.

Apart from this,
today
's children has
stress
with the choice of two
cultures
. Since
teenagers
always attach with media and
watch
the Western movies, they are like to follow the
culture
in real life.
For instance
, the research
was found
in India and it
is proved
that 70% of
people
follow the others
culture
due to this fact.
Thus
, mentors always force to children to adopt their traditional.

In conclusion
, I
think
that academic
culture
pressures are powerful causes of
stress
on
today
's juveniles due this they cannot enjoy their life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Today's children are living under more pressure from the society than children in the past with this opinion v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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