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Today, TV channels provide men’s sports show more than women's sports show. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport?

Today, TV channels provide men’s sports show more than women's sports show. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport? 3QNn
TV is now becoming the main source for citizens to acknowledge information. Thus TV plays an important role people’s daily life. And an interesting fact is that there are more men’s sports matches were showed on the screen than women’s. I think the origins of the phenomenon should be traced back to the nature of human. However, I do agree that the TV channels should design a more balanced timetable for all matches. Generally, males have more muscles than women, and these allowed males to have more strength and a better performance in the physical field than women. In addition to that, majority sports require strength, thus male competitors would be inevitably more competitive and attractive than females. And a TV channel would certainly ask for a more attractive match to catch the audience’s eyeballs. Therefore, a more favourable position would be given to male competition by the TV channels. Despite all the above objective reasons, I think TV programs should give fair right for both gender’s matches. In this case, females can gain more insight into what kinds of sports achievement other women can have in the sports sphere, and motive them to pick up sports and eventually become as a successful athlete. For example, a girl who has never seen a female sports competition before due to the undistributed schedule of the TV channels, may start to consider the possibility of practicing sports in the future. Hence, with the presence of more female matches on the screen, there is a potential to strengthen women performance on the filed. In conclusion, the reason why men’s sports matches gain more oppotunities on the screen derived from the nature of human body structure. However, I think that it is neccesary for the TV channels to adjust their timetable and display more female competitions, because it may have a underlying influence towards the improvement of women sports. And hopefully, there will be a more balanced or even equal time for both gender’s competitions.
TV is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
becoming the main source for citizens to acknowledge information.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
TV plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s daily life. And an interesting fact is that there are more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on the screen than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women’s
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the origins of the phenomenon should
be traced
back to the nature of human.
However
, I do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
should design a more balanced timetable for all matches.

Generally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
have more muscles than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
, and these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
males
to have more strength and a better performance in the physical field than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
.
In addition
to that, majority
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
require strength,
thus
male competitors would be
inevitably
more competitive and attractive than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
. And a TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channel
would
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ask for
a more attractive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
match
to catch the audience’s eyeballs.
Therefore
, a more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
position would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to male
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
by the TV channels.

Despite all the above objective reasons, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
TV programs should give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
right for both gender’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
.
In this case
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
females
can gain more insight into what kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
achievement other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
can have in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
sphere, and motive them to pick up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
eventually
become as a successful athlete.
For example
, a girl who has never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
due to the undistributed schedule of the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to consider the possibility of practicing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in the future.
Hence
, with the presence of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
on the screen, there is a potential to strengthen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
performance on the filed.

In conclusion
, the reason why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
matches
gain more
Possible spelling mistake found.
oppotunities
on the screen derived from the nature of human body structure.
However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccesary
for the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
to adjust their timetable and display more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
female
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it may have
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
underlying influence towards the improvement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
women
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. And
hopefully
, there will be a more balanced or even equal time for both gender’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
.
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IELTS essay Today, TV channels provide men’s sports show more than women's sports show. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women's sport and men's sport?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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