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Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion y2kJ
Work demands and expectations have increased significantly in recent years. Although some assert that a satisfactory job is crucial, others insist job security is more important. This essay will discuss why a secure job is essential, and also why I believe job satisfaction is superior to a permanent job. The primary reason to support job security is that people desire to have a constant flow of money. For materialistic needs money is vital and one cannot survive without it. Not only regular income aids to meet worldly desires but it also reduce financial strain. For instance, many people suffer from financial hardships when they lost their jobs in COVID-19. Hence, a regular job is a key for fulfilment of daily needs as well as to prevent people from financial burden. For the fulfilment of materialistic needs, money is a key, therefore, every individual require it reguraly which a permenant work provides. Further, a secure job helps financial security. Nevertheless, the importance of job satisfaction is significant in good mental health and work production. Those people who work with little satisfaction at work often experience mental diseases, such as depression or mood swings. Also, job dissatisfaction can cause reduction in a work production as along with good physical health, good mental health is important for effective work output. Thus, having satisfactory job helps employees to stay healthy, especially mentally, and it also increases work output. In conclusion, job satisfaction as well as job security both have their merits. However, I believe that health is wealth, so job satisfaction is far more important because it helps an employee to stay mentally healthy. Also, a mentaly healthy worker can benefit an organisation with more work production.
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Work
demands and expectations have increased
significantly
in recent years. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that a satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is crucial, others insist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
. This essay will discuss why a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is essential, and
also
why I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is superior to a permanent job.

The primary reason to support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
desire to have a constant flow of money. For materialistic needs money is vital and one cannot survive without it. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
regular income aids to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
worldly desires
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
strain.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
hardships when they lost their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in COVID-19.
Hence
, a regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is a key for
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
of daily needs
as well
as to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
burden.

For the
Possible spelling mistake. 'fulfilment' is British English.
fulfilment
of materialistic needs, money is a key,
therefore
, every individual require it
Possible spelling mistake found.
reguraly
which a
Possible spelling mistake found.
permenant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
provides.
Further
, a secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
security.

Nevertheless
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is significant in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
production. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experience mental diseases, such as depression or mood swings.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
dissatisfaction can cause reduction in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
production as along with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
output.
Thus
, having satisfactory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
employees to stay healthy,
especially
mentally, and it
also
increases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
output.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
security both have their merits.
However
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
is wealth,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
is far more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an employee to stay mentally healthy.
Also
, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
mentaly
healthy worker can benefit an
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
with more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
production.
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IELTS essay Some people argue that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while others believe that they cannot always expect job satisfaction and a permanent job is more important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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