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Today, the use of digital devices such as computers and mobile phones, the Internet, and social networks is prevalent, but in some cases, this phenomenon has led to the misuse of these opportunities. What are the reasons for misusing these opportunities, and what effects do they have on the lives of individuals and society?

Today, the use of digital devices such as computers and mobile phones, the Internet, and social networks is prevalent, but in some cases, this phenomenon has led to the misuse of these opportunities. What are the reasons for misusing these opportunities, and what effects do they have on the lives of individuals and society? 701y6
The use of digital devices Nowadays people are using digital devices to such a harmful extent. Besides their advantages, They've got countless disadvantages and I want to discuss their misusing in this essay. First of all, It has facilitated our lives in numerous ways for example we access a vast ocean of knowledge and we can find everything just by searching on google. But this vast information can give us some incorrect data that confuse us. Second The smartphones made everything easier. We can contact everyone all around the world at a low price, unlike in the past which we had to pay an astonishing cost. Moreover, we can capture a photo, share videos text our friends, and edit videos in no time and comfortably. However the misusing can cause many people to experience low-quality sleep at night. Because most people use their smartphones before sleeping and it can decrease their sleep quality. To illustrate, studies show the fluorescent light disrupts melatonin production which increases sleep quality. Third, accessing the internet has become comfortable in comparison to the past which we encountered many hardships. For instance low internet speed, high prices, and connection problems. But currently, the fees are affordable for every individual. On the other hand, It has caused many problems, for example, recently all of the petrol stations have been hacked the system was disrupted and it took several days to fix it. People suffered too much. moreover, some prices like taxi fees have increased. In conclusion, Although digital devices made our life easier and convenient in many aspects, in some cases they may cause many problems which are harmful to us. In my opinion, everybody can put some limits to prevent further damages.
The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of digital devices

Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are using digital devices to such a harmful extent.
Besides
their advantages, They've
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
countless disadvantages and I want to discuss their misusing in this essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, It has facilitated our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in numerous ways
for example
we access a vast ocean of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
we can find everything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by searching on google.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
this vast information can give us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
incorrect data that confuse us.

Second The smartphones made everything easier. We can contact everyone all around the world at a low price, unlike in the past which we had to pay an astonishing cost.
Moreover
, we can capture a photo, share videos text our friends, and edit videos in no time and
comfortably
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the misusing can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to experience low-quality sleep at night.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their smartphones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
sleeping and it can decrease their sleep quality. To illustrate, studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the fluorescent light disrupts melatonin production which increases sleep quality.

Third, accessing the internet has become comfortable
in comparison
to the past which we encountered
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hardships.
For instance
low internet speed, high prices, and connection problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
currently
, the fees are affordable for every individual.
On the other hand
, It has caused
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems,
for example
, recently
Consider using "all the".
all of the
petrol stations have
been hacked
the system
was disrupted
and it took several days to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
suffered too much.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
prices like taxi fees have increased.

In conclusion
, Although digital devices made our life easier and convenient in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases they may cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which are harmful to us. In my opinion, everybody can put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
limits to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
further
damages.
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IELTS essay Today, the use of digital devices such as computers and mobile phones, the Internet, and social networks is prevalent, but in some cases, this phenomenon has led to the misuse of these opportunities. What are the reasons for misusing these opportunities, and what effects do they have on the lives of individuals and society?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
286 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Today, the use of digital devices such as computers and mobile phones, the Internet, and social networks is prevalent, but in some cases, this phenomenon has led to the misuse of these opportunities. What are the reasons for misusing these opportunities, and what effects do they have on the lives of individuals and society?