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Many people claim that several spacious public areas play a crucial role in all cities. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in some extend, I would contend that it should not be a requirement.

Many people claim that several spacious public areas play a crucial role in all cities. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in some extend, I would contend that it should not be a requirement. 1bJyq
Many people claim that several spacious public areas play a crucial role in all cities. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in some extend, I would contend that it should not be a requirement. To begin with, there are several reasons why governments should build public zones for their residents. Firstly, because of a great amount of exhaust fumes from petrol-powered vehicles, the air in major cities has recently be seriously polluted. Therefore, large spaces with a great number of green trees planted in locations such as squares and parks may make a contribution to improving the air quality in these areas. For example, big trees in Central Park, located between the Upper West and Upper East Sides of Manhattan in NewYork, absorb more one million pounds of carbon dioxide and from the atmosphere and convert it into oxygen each year. This helps New Yorkers breathe a little easier. Secondly, spacious public areas can also be seen as tourism destinations. For instance, the glorious Red Square, located in Captial of Russia, listed in World Heritage Site by UNESCO, each year accepts millions of tourists who wish to learn about the history of Russia since the earliest times and admire various beautiful architectural structures. This boosts the local tourism industry, helping many countries’ economies to develop significantly. However, I think that not every cities and towns needs to build large spublic spaces for their senior citizens. Primarly, if governments spend a huge amounts of nation coffer building public spaces, there would be a lack of money poured into other important sectors such as health services and transports. As a result, these sectors can be held back from development, which prevents citizens from reaching higher living standard. For example, if healthcare receives poor investment, there would be fewer hospital built or new drugs and treatment methods researched. This could lead to a high risk of disease outbreaks spreading in communities. In addition, most public zones such as parks and squares tend to occupy a large area of land, which narrows space for other public structures such as hospitals, schools and accomodation systems. This has negative impacts on the life of residents who live nearby. In conclusion, while existence of public places can be benefit to every residents, I am in favour that these spaces should be required in all cities and town.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that several spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
play a crucial role in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "extent" ('extent' is a noun, 'extend' is a verb)?
extend
, I would contend that it should not be a requirement.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should build
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
zones for their residents.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a great amount of exhaust fumes from petrol-powered vehicles, the air in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
has recently
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "been".
be
seriously
polluted.
Therefore
, large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
with a great number of green trees planted in locations such as squares and parks may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a contribution to improving the air quality in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
trees in Central Park, located between the Upper West and Upper East Sides of Manhattan in
Possible spelling mistake found.
NewYork
, absorb more one million pounds of carbon dioxide and from the atmosphere and convert it into oxygen each year. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
New Yorkers breathe a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
easier.

Secondly
, spacious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
can
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as tourism destinations.
For instance
, the glorious Red Square, located in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Captial
of Russia, listed in World Heritage Site by UNESCO, each year accepts millions of tourists who wish to learn about the history of Russia since the earliest times and admire various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
architectural structures. This boosts the local tourism industry, helping
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries’ economies to develop
significantly
.

However
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that not every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "city"?
cities
and towns needs to build
Possible spelling mistake found.
large spublic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
for their senior citizens.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Primarly
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
spend a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "amount"?
amounts
of nation coffer building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
, there would be a lack of money poured into other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors such as health services and transports.
As a result
, these sectors can
be held
back from development, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
citizens from reaching higher living standard.
For example
, if healthcare receives poor investment, there would be fewer hospital built or new drugs and treatment methods researched. This could lead to a high
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of disease outbreaks spreading in communities.
In addition
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
zones such as parks and squares tend to occupy a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
of land, which narrows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
structures such as hospitals, schools and
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
systems. This has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the life of residents who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
nearby.

In conclusion
, while existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
places can be benefit to every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "resident"?
residents
, I am in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spaces
should
be required
in all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and town.
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IELTS essay Many people claim that several spacious public areas play a crucial role in all cities. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in some extend, I would contend that it should not be a requirement.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
397 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Many people claim that several spacious public areas play a crucial role in all cities. While it is true that having various of these places can be beneficial in some extend, I would contend that it should not be a requirement.