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Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v.11

Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 11
Today, it is a world of consumerism. Advertising has always played a key role in driving sales of popular consumer products. However, innovative and attractive advertising in the mass media often entice people to buy unnecessary luxury goods that have a negative impact on people's economic lives. First, enticing ads greatly attract the attention of the audience and encourage them to buy more. In an increasingly competitive industry, companies are trying to create creative advertising to increase customer brand awareness. For example, knowing that public figures have a wide-ranging impact, producers will ask stars to endorse brands. Viewers tend to imitate their favorite idols, so they are willing to pay for the products in the ad, regardless of their actual needs. Second, good advertising companies generally understand human psychology, especially their interests, thereby increasing sales. For example, in the case of YSL perfume ads, if girls spray aroma perfumes, they are likely to attract the sex. Given that love is always a common interest, advertising agencies use this advantage to make their commercials more attractive than ever. Consequently, more people want to buy items. However, some may argue that whether consumers buy these products is a decisive factor in the context of ubiquitous advertising. It is undeniable that not every viewer is attracted to fascinating advertising. In fact, when buying patterns, sensible consumers still consider their affordability first. Therefore, they are more willing to allocate funds for basic needs than to spend on advertising projects to keep up with the latest trends. No matter how active the ad is, consumers can still make their own purchase decisions. In short, because customers have their own strong opinions and standards for quality goods, it is best to let them decide to buy the goods themselves. It's hard to say that everyone is influenced by advertising and buys good things impulsively.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, it is a world of consumerism. Advertising has always played a key role in driving sales of popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
products.
However
, innovative and attractive advertising in the mass media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
entice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary luxury
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

First
, enticing ads
greatly
attract the attention of the audience and encourage them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more. In an
increasingly
competitive industry,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are trying to create creative advertising to increase customer brand awareness.
For example
, knowing that public figures have a wide-ranging impact, producers will ask stars to endorse brands. Viewers tend to imitate their favorite idols,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are willing to pay for the products in the ad, regardless of their actual needs.

Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
generally
understand human psychology,
especially
their interests, thereby increasing sales.
For example
, in the case of
Possible spelling mistake found.
YSL
perfume ads, if girls spray aroma perfumes, they are likely to attract the sex.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
is always a common interest, advertising agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their commercials more attractive than ever.
Consequently
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
items.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may argue that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
these products is a decisive factor in the context of ubiquitous advertising. It is undeniable that not every viewer
is attracted
to fascinating advertising. In fact, when buying patterns, sensible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
still
consider their affordability
first
.
Therefore
, they are more willing to allocate funds for basic needs than to spend on advertising projects to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the latest trends. No matter how active the ad is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
can
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
decisions.

In short,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
customers have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
strong opinions and standards for quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, it is best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
themselves. It's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say that everyone
is influenced
by advertising and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
things
impulsively
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
One who speaks only one language is one person, but one who speaks two languages is two people.
Turkish proverb

IELTS essay Today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. v. 11

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
308 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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