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Today, science and technology have a great impact on the whole world in all aspects. However, the role of artists is also undeniable thanks to their contribution to the society

Today, science and technology have a great impact on the whole world in all aspects. However, the role of artists is also undeniable thanks to their contribution to the society 15Aw7
There are many things that artists can tell us about life that science and technology are not able to. To begin with, language, which is surprisingly a branch of art, gives people the sense of humanity, and differentiates human beings from animals. Furthermore, artists can boost our emotions and change our feelings with their artworks. For example, lots of Beethoven’s fans feel relieved and motivated when they listen to his masterpieces. Another field in which we learn from art is related to culture and history. Many countries show their history through a piece of painting or the way that people perform their traditional dances in unique costumes. For instance, “Dong Ho” paintings depict not only the daily life of Vietnamese people hundred years ago but also their dreams about a well-off life. For many people, exploring art is also one type of entertainment. There are people who travel around the world to visit historical places and art galleries, which helps them learn more about the culture and history of other nations. By contrast, science and technology are all about practical and physical aspects and contribute less to our lives emotionally and socially. To conclude, there is no denying that science and technology have great values in our lives. However, artists can teach people about many aspects of their lives that the modern technology is not capable of
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that artists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
us about life that science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are not able to. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, language, which is
surprisingly
a branch of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, gives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the sense of humanity, and differentiates human beings from animals.
Furthermore
, artists can boost our emotions and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our feelings with their artworks.
For example
, lots of Beethoven’s fans feel relieved and motivated when they listen to his masterpieces.

Another field in which we learn from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is related
to culture and history.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their history through a piece of painting or the way that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perform their traditional dances in unique costumes.
For instance
, “Dong Ho” paintings depict not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the daily life of Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Use "a hundred" or use a number before 'hundred'.
hundred
years ago
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their dreams about a well-off life. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is
also
one type of entertainment. There are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who travel around the world to visit historical places and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
galleries, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them learn more about the culture and history of other nations. By contrast, science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are all about practical and physical aspects and contribute less to our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
emotionally
and
socially
.

To conclude
, there is no denying that science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
have great values in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
However
, artists can teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
that the modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not capable of
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IELTS essay Today, science and technology have a great impact on the whole world in all aspects. However, the role of artists is also undeniable thanks to their contribution to the society

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
226 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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